Stepping Back, to Step Forward.

 

Taking a step back often feels like you have somehow failed, but in not stepping back I would be failing myself.

It’s hard this internal knowing, when you have no words to describe what it is you understand. It’s like you have spent years gathering together the various bits and pieces of a giant jigsaw puzzle in your mind. Each piece comes along at various points in your life and you have to juggle them about to see if they fit.

Then all at once you get one piece that slots into place and all the other pieces which you held suddenly now all fit into place. And yet you are still trying to make sense of what it is you are putting together, because we don’t have a picture box lid to understand just what kind of finished picture we are creating.

I felt the jumble of the pieces suddenly make sense, and in the next instant it felt like a huge wind had come along, and the pieces scattered in a thousand directions. I felt such a void of confusion, sadness and pain. 

Pain for a world that is caught up within its own journey, as we each try to make sense of the pieces we hold.

The pain of my heart transferred itself quickly into fatigue as I  found myself shutting down, and shutting out the world more and more as I slept, slipping into a void of depression, a feeling I know only too well. And were it not for family, friends, and my granddaughter’s wonderful presence, it’s a void I know I could easily slip into again if I were not mindful of the signs.  But I have been to the depths of despair many years ago now. And never again will I plunge back into that deep dark well.   

So, my smile is ever present as I keep positive in the face I present to the world. I took my mind into that tranquil zone, I painted, and I painted some more.  I allowed the painting to absorb and transform those feelings. For I also have come to understand that other forces are at work, as our Light codes and energies are adjusting as the Geomagnetic Storms now intensify their frequencies which in turn are affecting our moods and health and our DNA.  I painted out my heart as I faced my fears as I raced into the unknown.  I painted, as the snow fell outside, the snow transferred to the canvas, or was it water? Both cleansing, I will let you decide.

Finished Tiger Painting. More Information about Tiger to be found Here.

 

I know I am not the only one who has been going through the emotional washing machine. We have been tossed around, wrung out, to feel drained and left to feel crumpled and limp in the face of feeling helpless to that which we see occurring around our world and our neighbourhoods.  Wondering where it is all leading, and for those of us like myself, we wonder if our energies will  ever make a difference.

Stepping back, pausing and taking that deep breath away from the constant bombardment of negative news allows us to view life from a different perspective. 

Those who read my posts regular, know I am a great believer in ‘Signs’ my recent posts were trying to make sense of that ‘Knowing’ some of us feel. So, it was no surprise that over this period of time I had a ‘Sign’ come and visit me not once but three times in as many weeks. As a Sparrow Hawk which is a rare sight at the best of times, landed not once, but three separate times into my garden as she hunted the sparrows I feed. She has been coming on an off since January when I first took a photo of her or him. But since I have been absent from WP she landed three more times in full view in my garden.  

Sparrow Hawk, Her first visit in January

Her presence came to remind me to lift my own wings and concentrate upon raising my own higher vibrations. So, I have been meditating more. She taught me to lift myself higher, and look from another perspective, to that which I had allowed myself to wallow in… the pain of others and other people’s stories. Showing me while we are all of us connected, I need not take on their pain.  

For each of us agreed what roles to play, be it a Hawk a predator or a Sparrow its victim. She came to show me I should not get hung up on the details of life, but trust to the currents to which way the wind catches my wings.  I saw how the Sparrows cleverly avoided her clutches, as they flew into the thick branches of my shrubs and how all the sparrows along with blackbird cried out their warnings of her arrival.  I saw how unity of species played a part in their survival and now how they have altered their feeding habits in mindfulness of the hawks presence. I see how some keep guard and watch, while others feed. I also observed how some are selfish and fight fiercely to possess the feeder not giving an inch. Nature is a constant reminder of our fight for survival. And when the snow came, we helped nature along. 

Snow in my Garden March 18th 2018 Last Sunday

The Hawk has a wider view of the world than ourselves, and reminds me to broaden my own perspective and to trust and let go to the Winds of Change.  Being Empathic I feel at times raw emotions as their currents ebb and flow through humanity, I also feel the cosmic energies that pulsate which are coming to open up our hearts.

I think this is my longest ever absence since I started blogging in 2007. I started out wanting to make a difference as my words rippled out, and during my recent void I wondered what possible difference I could make.  And yet by reading the many comments you have all left me over time. I see how my poems have touched you and how connected we all are in this our Earth Journey.  

I could write thousands of words and never come to express that which I have come to understand of our human self and our existence on planet Earth. Nor could I ever explain what I have learnt through the years of my Spiritual involvement via the communications I have been privileged to part of and witness. 

Those of you who are upon their own Soul Journey, know of what I speak, others perhaps have yet to soar to find their own flight paths, for we are all of us at our various levels of evolution as we fly in our ever-expanding circles as we search and explore our own destinies, and make sense of who we are and why we are here.  

At the time of writing this I have no idea how long I shall be flying, it may be a matter of days, or another few weeks. And I thank all of you for your patience, especially those comments still in moderation waiting to be answered. Thank you those who have sent me your beautiful emails. I will be answering all of them over time.  

All of you are loved and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love you share and show me here, words never seem enough in appreciation. But you are all greatly loved and I feel Blessed for having you all in my world.   

Sometimes we may not make sense of the way we view events of our world. But some events acts as triggers, that change the perspective of others. The Hawk came to show me there are no victims. For we all came to play our parts. 

I did tune in yesterday and saw how 17 lives lost on the 14^th February were not lost in vain. If a country with a young generation of all creeds and races can come together in Unity to stand up and voice their views.

This world is on track.

I see Unity Consciousness working right there in the eyes and hearts of the next generation that will have to stand strong and firm in their beliefs, as their courage comes together to create the kind of world they wish to live in.  And the ‘Knowing’ I see within my heart will be worth the sacrifice of those who agreed their particular parts so that Humanity may evolve through Love. 

Hawks are masters of flying, they enjoy the landscape, I need to soar a while longer as I adjust my energies as I ‘Paint Pictures’, as I accept ‘What will be will be’. (Que Sera, Sera).

In Love and Light