Where does one start? I’m told the best place to start is at the beginning.. But just where did it begin? Did it start when I was a child who went into her shell, the one who spent time alone inside her head. The one who was the eldest child of 5 who was nicked named ‘Little Mother’.
Just when did my searching begin? Was it through the bed time stories I would make up to my siblings as I lay in our bedroom shared with 3 other sisters, and my brother across the landing that would spin a little magic each night. Or was it the nights I lay with curtains wide open looking up at the Moon and Stars? Feeling alone, and just wondering about all those different planets out there.Yet at the same time feeling a Knowing within that I couldn’t explain.
Maybe it was the Night when aged around 12 when out playing on a winters evening with friends as it grew dark and yet the snow made it lighter on the ground as it sparkled like diamonds, reflected by the Moon and with one sparse street lamp, when we saw something flash in the field next to our homes and the street lamp and electricity failed for a few moments as the power cut out. And we all felt something eerie.. and we ran on home.
Or could it have been when my Father came home in a panic saying something strange had followed him home down a lane he often walked at night, saying he felt he was being watched and that something seemed to hover above the trees, as he heard a low hummm .. I remember how spooked he was, and Dad was never one to be spooked.
Then again it could have been the time around 13 yrs old when I was walking up our stairs and saw a Nun in full habit cross our landing. I was told not to be so silly.
Perhaps it may have been when I got all emotional aged 11, I was allowed to go to with a Chapel Day outing for a long long day out at London Wembley Stadium, when I joined in the hysteria of others who cried out loud at a Billy Graham Crusade.
Or was it when my brother came home to not quite believing what he had seen, as his mate had died aged 18 in a lone car accident on a lonely country road, and yet two days after his funeral, he and 2 others saw him as large as life standing on the Village Cross, as he waved to them all then disappeared.
Then again it could have started when I would lay at night with ear trained to the floor, with heart in my chest beating loudly as I waited for parental arguments to start.
When ever my journey started, I learnt to pray.. I learnt to send out my thoughts. For Prayer is sending out our thoughts into the Cosmos as we link with that which we are one with.
I would pray for the arguments to stop, I would pray that everyone would be alright.I learnt to pray for lots of things.. I learnt to send out my thoughts and Listen back, for I wanted to know my prayers were being answered.
As a small child to 15yrs old I went to Sunday School at our local Chapel. Religion, Bible study as a child played a Huge role in my upbringing. And as I’ve mentioned before in other posts I thought of GOD as this white bearded man in a heavenly cloud, listening to all I had to say..
Today my perception of our Creator has changed, so too has the world grown with knowledge gained. We now know that we don’t fall off the edge of the ocean as we’ve discovered the world is no longer flat. But long ago, such were our beliefs.
It isn’t until we are given knowledge and like those first explorers be brave enough venture a little further into the unknown, that we make new discoveries. The boundaries are being pushed all the time, as our view of the world and our perceptions change. To those that sailed off into the unknown, many thought they would fall off the edge of the earth, for such were their perceptions given the knowledge they had at that time..
Now our perceptions are based upon the knowledge we too glean from our parents, our surroundings, our History books etc.The Media, our Newspapers, We all assume that what we are being told is the Truth….
I remember too when my Mother told me I was born under a Gooseberry Bush, and I got into a heated argument aged 6 with my best friend defending my Mum who was right, and said No! I didn’t come out of my Mummy’s Tummy as her Mummy has said..beacause MY MUM was right and Her Mum was wrong..
You see we get into this indoctrinated way of thinking, for we have always been told its this way or that way, and why would we need to question it.. When our parents pass down their thoughts and beliefs. This has happened throughout many generations..
I have known from a young age that I needed to seek the Truth, I needed Answers, I have to explain that I have always looked up to the sky and known I come from Way up there somewhere… there is this connection, even as a small child I felt I was on a kind of Mission. I knew that there were ‘others’ out there, listening, Watching, waiting.. So maybe that was the beginning of my journey, as all of these life experiences made me think, question, and sit within the silence of my own thoughts and just wonder.. Why are we here?
The Journey of discovery first starts with oneself.
And to find oneself, sometimes you have to lose yourself for a little while in order to find yourself again. I did that too…. Many years later experiencing A nervous breakdown… through stress, over work, juggling career, family, guilt, inadequacies, rejection from my Mother, a whole range of emotions..
It was then that my real journey of self began.. when I asked the question..
WHO am I? …in fact just who are WE? …and Where do we come from, and What are we doing here, and Where are we going?
Questions I know Many more are now starting to ask.. and as we Wake up to the Truth of who we are, we see that what we have been told we need to Question. And find out those answers for ourselves..
The journey has begun~ As in coming posts I will share my own thoughts… and I hope you too will share yours, and remember you don’t have to agree… For YOU too are on your own Journey..
Together I hope we find some Answers.. 🙂