Sometimes we have to go within to the silent places we all have in order to find out what is really going on with our emotional bodies. Even knowing all the things I do, we are within our Human form to learn and grow..
I needed to ask myself a few questions as to why I was feeling so lost, depressed and sad… More was going on than just bereavement. Yes the fall I had had,both bruised and shook me, but what else was shaking me to the core?
For those who know a little about my Soul Journey, You will also know that my own Mother and I had not spoken for 10 years prior to her passing some eleven years ago now….Despite many attempts I knew I was only wounding myself more by continually trying to bridge the rift, to be continually rejected.. So this rejection and other issues related to overwork and stress, resulted in a Nervous Breakdown in my mid forties..
So when my Mother died, while I was sad, I guess I never really grieved her loss. Because to me.. I had grieved her long before her death as lost to me.. As I had had to shut down my emotions to cope with her rejection.. I had undergone counselling within my breakdown, and my Mother jumped up at every dark corner of why even in my teens I had suffered from deep depression.
We often go through whole chapters of our lives creating a protective shell around ourselves because we need it in order to heal from some early trauma. I know I had built many such Layers of shell around myself from various experiences over the years..
So my own fall, and the death of my aunt in affect broke the shell, leaving a wide crack as the emotions came flooding back up to the surface and out. I took time out to meditate deeply and Looked in on myself.. I can now see that the new part of ourselves cannot be born within the confines of the shell of our old selves..
Sometimes part of us must die before another part can come to life. Even though this is a natural and necessary part of our growth, it is often painful if we don’t realize what’s happening, we become confused. This disorientation is often part of the messengers that tell us a shift is taking place within us. These shifts happen throughout the lives of all humans, as we move and grow through adolescence into adulthood.
Each of us are shifting, changing daily. We can surrender to this process of letting go of our old self with great love and gratitude, and welcome in the new with an open mind and heart, ready for our next phase of life.
I also looked deeper still, at why I am getting so wound up with world affairs at the moment, Why was I being so affected? Am I not just as guilty of not letting it go.. Do I not just need the World to just be, as it shifts to find its own new identity as the old world dies, as the layers of our established reality now crack and shatter from our disillusioned view.
Is not the world we are each part of ready for the Next Great Shift as we enter the next phase of Life on Earth I asked myself? Are we not ONE and the Same.. Each affecting the other?
And as I already knew the answer…. Many of us seek the answers to life’s questions by looking outside of ourselves and trying to glean advice from the people around us. Each of us is unique, with our own personal histories, our own sense of right and wrong, and our own way of experiencing the world that defines our realities. We all of us have than inner compass which we can go within to seek guidance.
Only you can know the how’s and why’s of your life. The answers that you seek can be found when you start answering your own questions,Sometimes we have to get a little lost in order to fine oneself again..But the journey in finding oneself is all part of our Earth Journey.
Maybe the World too is going to get a little lost before it too can find itself again..
Lets hope it can also learn and grow!
Many thanks for reading…
Love and Blessings
Image Source: Google Images..