The Scars No One Sees..

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This Post is a Repost I wrote in 2009, I was searching through my Achives as I was looking for inspiration.. and had forgotten I had written this post..
Today Many people are still Dealing with hurts of all kinds.. Working as I do to help support individuals live more independent Lives within the community, I come across many who are vulnerable and insecure..
We all of us go through life at one time or another, holding onto our hurts and wounds, and I have been no different.. I wrote this piece I think way back then to help me deal with my own hurts and wounds that I thought I had long since let go of, but like many shadows we carry, they often jump back out at us from those deep dark wells we hide within..
I will leave you now to read what I posted back in 2009, Oh and by the way.. The acupuncture is still ongoing for me, around every 3 weeks.. And its made a huge difference also to my well-being. I can definitely recommend it . .. Sue
 

Dealing with Hurt

Many of us are hurting; dealing with pain is a fact that affects almost all of our lives to some degree. Since the hurt we feel may be a part of the experiences that have touched us most deeply, we are often loathed to let it go.It is sometimes easier to keep our pain at our sides, where it acts as a shield that shelters us from others and gives us an identity—that of victim—from which we can draw bitter strength.

I was victim of feeling that my mother didn’t love me, She didn’t speak to me for 10 yrs,, And here I am still, 3 yrs after her passing, still holding onto that pain.. I realised on Monday when I went to have some acupuncture in the first course of treatment to try to help ease my own pains of living with Fibromyalgia.. FMS… I found myself in the consultation period telling the therapist about past illness and major events that I could recall in my life from childhood, And again and again the pain of my mother’s rejection hit home..

I work with individuals who have learning difficulties, and some of these people have led horrendous childhoods.. They too hold onto hurt, and perhaps can’t express that hurt as you or I.. And so they see and think differently from you or I.. Where you and I would express our thoughts with our words.. Some lash out with their fists, as that is all they were dealt when they were children.

However, pain’s universality can also empower us to use our hurt to help others heal. Since no pain is any greater or more profound than any other, what you feel can give you the ability to help bring about the recovery of individuals whose hurts are both similar to and vastly different from your own.. You can channel your pain into transformative and healing love that aids you in helping individuals on a one-to-one basis and spreading a tide of curative energy throughout the world… I try to do that with individuals I work with.. So you can then imagine my own hurt when I got assaulted by one of these individuals this week.. And once again I became a Victim..

But I needed to know that this experience also showed me something else, it gave me a sign.. It showed me that procedures within my workplace need to be re-evaluated,But it showed me once again how in a split second, Lives can be altered forever.. and it made me realise as I was comforting another service user who was upset by the attack on me, that there are many ways to use the hurt you feel to help others.

Your pain gives you a unique insight into the minds of people who have experienced trauma and heartache. You can draw from the wellspring of strength that allowed you to emerge on the other side of a painful experience and pass that strength to individuals still suffering from their wounds. You may be able to council individuals in need by showing them the coping methods that have helped you survive or simply by offering sympathy. A kinship can develop that allows you to relate more closely with those you are trying to aid and comfort.

Helping others can help your own heart grow stronger. In channelling your pain into compassionate service and watching others successfully recover, you may feel a sense of self-worth and optimism. To reach out to others can be the best way to declare to yourself and the world that your pain didn’t defeat you, and in fact it helped you heal. We are never given more than we can cope with, And with it comes our lessons upon our pathway.

The acupuncture was sharp, the assault hurt, but I realised that the pain I still carry is not be seen, But it’s still doing its damage.. FMS… Face My Self?.. I need to once again look in the mirror, and Let It GO…

Dreamwalker

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62 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. creatingreciprocity
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 21:28:48

    What a wonderful post – well done, in every way!

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  2. Cat Forsley
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 21:43:43

    Wow Sue Sue …..
    I had no idea you did this as work …..
    wow wow wow ….
    amazing lady you are
    no wonder you are so insightful ……
    Amazing post
    Amazing Truths
    Amazing Lady = You xoxoxo
    Cat xo

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 09, 2012 @ 20:26:04

      Hi Cat, Thank you … There are many more Amazing people out there Cat..Who do lots more than I in helping Mankind and Humanity… I just follow what I am inspired to write by sharing some of my own journey along the way.. You do not realise just how amazing you are . We never see ourselves as others see us.. Remember all the Love and Light you too are spreading out.. Amazing Lady Cat.. 😉

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      • Cat Forsley
        Jul 09, 2012 @ 20:57:29

        NO- i would rather focus on other people 🙂 xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoox Life is so much more broad hearted that way 🙂

        I was and am still amazed that You do this as work …. i am super blessed to know you ………..
        supah blessed ………….

        if you have time tomorrow my sweet – email me – tomorrow is tues? right ?
        if you get a chance
        i would love to read more of your insights ……..
        🙂 xo
        sending more sun your way as i heard you guys are still having rainy days ………..?
        let me know if you need the imaginary fedex dude -:) 🙂 🙂
        Tons of love and admiration for you
        I know you are humble – and that’s a beautiful character trait in a human being – but this is me sending a WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO Sue Sue for all the great work you do …….
        So There xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxxoox

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        • Sue Dreamwalker
          Jul 09, 2012 @ 21:48:44

          Arrh Cat.. many many thanks to you.. 🙂 you certainly bring a Huge Smile to my heart.. The Fedex dude is needed again lol.. and look out for your own mail.. 😉 Night night Cat.. Hugs.. xxx love to you xxx

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          • Cat Forsley
            Jul 09, 2012 @ 21:55:09

            Ok dokey xx
            i just called fedex
            they will be there in approx 10 minutes ………….
            they have rays on back order for you 🙂 xoxoxoxoxoox
            love to you and hubby and ohhh wow …..
            >>> insert doorbell ring <<<<
            i think he is there !!!!!!!!!!!!
            oh yeah he is ….:)
            have a beautiful night sweet Sue Sue
            and see you soon xoxoxoxo
            This one is super romantic i think –
            for you and hubby 🙂

            xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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  3. MysteryCoach
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 21:45:51

    I absolutely love this 🙂 Hi honey! I didn’t forget you. I’m glad the accupuncture is helping you!

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 09, 2012 @ 20:28:21

      Awww Mystery Coach, thank you, I did call by, but your had gone private, so I didnt knock… can I still come in??? 😉 Yes the acupunture is helping on many levels even today.. Lovely to see you again. ~Sue 🙂

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      • MysteryCoach
        Jul 09, 2012 @ 20:36:43

        Of course you can come in, you have to click something and then it sends me an email. I only did that because of work and not wanting someone to fall over it. 🙂

        I didn’t forget about you 🙂 I think that sounds like a really good idea the acupuncture. When I get insurance I’ll give that a try. Does it hurt? ooooch…

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        • Sue Dreamwalker
          Jul 09, 2012 @ 21:46:24

          Hi Mystery coach, I will be around tomorrow as its late here now and will knock knock! in the morning.. 🙂 acupuncture works.. and yes it can give you a Zing! or two, but nothing like the pain I have had to deal with but it lasts only a split second while some needles go in.. and not while they remain in.. 🙂

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  4. cat
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 22:00:49

    Lovely, lovely post … many tears while reading it, soul sister … you are well on the way to healing yourself and helping others … and that is such a beautiful thing … Love, cat.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 09, 2012 @ 20:33:16

      Arrgh my dear Cat, your understanding I know goes deep, and I thank you for that my dear friend.. Wipe your tears.. I have done more than enough of that… Love to you my Spirit Sister .. .. 🙂

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  5. prenin
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 22:10:31

    Hi Sue! 🙂

    Yes, pain becomes a scar, becomes a wall beyond which we do not go.

    If you read my poems (On my blog) then you know what I went through and how, as an adult, I was abused again buy those who are supposed to protect us from harm.

    Today I am much better as I have grown past the pain, but I am now dependent on medication and will be for the rest of my life as I was broken and am unable to mend any further.

    I’m sorry your client assaulted you and I hope that you recover from this in time.

    Unfortunately for some violence is all they know… 😦

    Love and squishy hugs always! 🙂

    Prenin.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 09, 2012 @ 20:36:14

      Hi Prenin I am fully recovered from this Prenin, it happened 3 yrs ago now.. But I posted as I felt it relavant to reveal the fact that many hold their wounds inside, and yes I have read your own very unpleasent ordeal Prenin, and my heart went out to you. .. Wishing you a very good Week my friend..

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  6. rosemarymonteith
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 22:16:58

    Wise words Sue, and your success in turning the negative in your life to warmth and compassion for others

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  7. barbaramattio
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 22:20:06

    exceptional. I have walked this same path and I understand the amount of work that goes into healing yourself and the enormity of letting go. Worth the reblog.

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  8. Red
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 22:58:45

    I am a huge advocate of victims reaching out to other victims. It is the only path to stop being a victim. Pain teaches us much about who we are and how we deal with our world. As universal as pain is, keeping it inside nurtures the hurt. I can think of nothing more counterproductive.

    Thank you for sharing both the pain and the insight. {HUGZ} from the heart,
    Red.
    xxx

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  9. Valentine Logar
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 22:58:48

    It is inevitable, I come to read your posts and either I am closing an old wound or in the process of tearing the scab off. Your words wash over me and for just one minute I can draw breath deep inside, filling up as if it is my first.

    Why is that?

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 09, 2012 @ 20:54:30

      Arrgh Val, Val,… I often find when we need air.. we will be drawn to pull in that deep breath… Keep breathing.. and let it wash over you..eventually it starts to cleanse… and Heal… xxxx

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  10. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 23:05:55

    hidden scars form a stained glass window
    the glass shards are pieces of your spirit
    that have been shattered and scattered on the wind…when you start
    seeing them, gathering them…. you slowly put the pieces back together
    each hidden hurt has a color…
    heart hurt? pink…greens….
    words that hurt you….blues
    mind games that hurt…shades of purple
    and so on…chakra colors..auras only you can see what
    they are….
    we all have many colors….and oh what a beautiful window to our Soul we shall create
    when we let go of the pain and put each piece together to create
    a “more” you……a stronger spirit…. a brighter one…a stronger one….
    each tapestry we call life we have spun and weaved ourselves into will look so
    beautiful when the moon shines through the stained glass…..
    I enjoyed this post….a calmness flows through your words …
    Thank You Sue….
    Take Care…
    )0(
    ladyblue

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 09, 2012 @ 20:59:37

      Arrgh your own words here spun their own magic across my soul here ladyblue… Such wonderful words that cast their own beautiful hue across my page and into my heart… Thank you so much.. ~Sue

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  11. Angelwings6
    Jul 09, 2012 @ 09:42:05

    Some people I have meet in life are true healers, It took me ages to realize that they understood the pain inside other hearts, as they had personally experienced pain and heartache themselves…We all hurt at times and we are all often misunderstood from others, but the positive thing is it makes us stronger and we gain more compassion and understanding to others because of these life experiences…
    Have a lovely week Sue…

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  12. Visionkeeper
    Jul 09, 2012 @ 13:48:22

    Right on DW !! So very, very true. The pain and illnesses we endure in our lives are but old issues never healed, never released. When they become too great and are in need of release but we don’t release them, they become physical illness. Heal the issue, heal the illness. I think this is one of the greatest lessons of being a human on earth right now. We have so much more control of our lives than we realize. You have done a beautiful job of realizing and releasing and becoming more of who you really are. Well done DW!!! I hope you are staying dry in this horrific summer for you all. Did your garden survive? I surely hope so. Be well and stay in the light friend…..Blessings… VK

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 09, 2012 @ 21:22:06

      I always knew we create our own illnesses, but it took me a while to understand what I was doing to myself.. I had to do alot of inner work with my letting go.. The weather here is still very WET.. the garden is a little soggy and we need some Sun now to make things grow.. The peas and potatoes are doing great, The ground has good drainaage as its sandy soil.. But we can I think write of the strawberries and Raspberries.. Just too soggy for soft fruit.. But some farmers havent been so lucky with fields submerged in water… Thanks VK … Big blessing back.. x

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  13. Doris
    Jul 09, 2012 @ 16:25:00

    I was an unseen, unheard, unloved & unhappy child & sometime I still feel that I am that child again when things go wrong..
    A wonderful post Sue & I can say I know what you are talking about.
    & I feel your hurt…
    Parents should not play favorites with their children. mine did & it leaves scars forever that can not heal…
    both my parents are gone now & I did not cry when they died.. I felt nothing..
    Sorry about rambling on this way Sue, Your post brought back memories…
    I am so happy the acupuncture works.
    I may try that.
    Love you hun… hugs

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 09, 2012 @ 21:28:10

      I hope you do give acupuncture a try, it works on my levels for pain, emotional.. I am sorry to learn of your own pain Doris, I have since made my peace in my mind with my mother… I pray she has let go of all her bitterness…. as is now in a brighter place than she was when here.. Love to you Doris and thank you for commenting.. ~Sue

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  14. ismailcd432
    Jul 09, 2012 @ 19:46:19

    I have a question Sue. Please tell me the reason why your sweet self thought of ‘Beat’ and ‘Drum’. Your answer is very important to me. May the Devine Source grant you eternal bliss.

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  15. jennygoth666
    Jul 09, 2012 @ 22:19:41

    little things said little events in childhood and growing up can hurt for life learning how to deal with it is more easy said than done but strong minded and strong willed people can cope with it but the hurt never goes away really best to try and not make your loved ones feel unloved is the answer so that you know that they will never have the pain you felt your a lovely strong lady dreamer never change xjen

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  16. bibuji
    Jul 09, 2012 @ 22:51:45

    It’s far beyond my imagination, how your innocent heart has been hurt in your life, and how wonderful your power is to overcome the pains. Your life tells me heart and mind never die. Indeed the eternal life.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 10, 2012 @ 20:33:30

      Yes mind over matter when we remember to do just that..No hearts love never dies Bibuji and Life is Eternal.. Thank you for dropping by I intend to catch up with your own posts shortly.. ~Sue

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  17. granbee
    Jul 09, 2012 @ 23:34:18

    I am so very thankful that I accessed this post on the very day that I shared my own anguish as a college student about my first very-much uninvited and unwanted advance from a female bisexual in my college dormitory. I was newly away from home and had previously never known of such a sexual identity. I have only truly healed from that some 47 years later!

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 10, 2012 @ 20:39:36

      Thank you Granbee for sharing that.. Yes Healing has to come from within for many things we hold onto.. Letting them all go is harder for some than others.. Letting Go I think has been one of my own lifes lessons.. and we find those letting go lessons keep repeating until we finally release them… I had thought myself healed from my mothers distance and silence… despite my own attempts over the beginning of those years to bridge the gap.. I realised I was only hurting myself. and for years had thought I had let her go.. It wasn’t until I sat recalling my past that day, that the tears once again flowed and I understood I still held on to all that pain… Thank you Granbee for sharing.. Love to you my friend ~Sue xx

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  18. Gabrielle
    Jul 09, 2012 @ 23:52:07

    Oh Sue, I’m so sorry to read that…..I am a survivor as well……of mental, emotional and physical abuse, and I’m still clearing and letting go. Have you ever thought of writing a book? I have – http://themysteryofself.wordpress.com/ I initially wrote it to clear out all the pain and hurt, but it became a record of spiritual progress made because of it – the abuse has been the making of me! I decided to put it online in the hope of helping others. It may help you my friend. We are both using our own deep compassion to help others. Much Love and (((hugs))) xox

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 10, 2012 @ 20:50:17

      Hi Gabrielle, I will be sure to go and read that.. Yes I think we are both of us using our own compassion in helping others Gabrielle, And you have been writing some amazing posts recently too.. I havent been around but I have read from a distance.. but got a few days off now so will be making my rounds Very soon.. 🙂 thank you for sharing that with us Gabrielle.. ~Sue

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  19. aussieian2011
    Jul 10, 2012 @ 01:15:52

    I think this writing hit a raw nerve with me when I first read it long ago and find it still does,it makes me think why do I hold onto experiences over 35 years ago and why I just accept PTSD as a fact of life,the nerve I mention is a guilt in that I keep the hurt alive and use it as a shield,hopefully as years go by I let the shield drop a little more as the need for carrying the hurt fades in time.
    Always an insightful writing Sue
    Cheers
    Ian

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 10, 2012 @ 20:58:24

      Yes Ian…. And your own experiences going through that war, it doesn’t surprise me that you carry them still.. I too Ian hope you can let them go and fade… for it isn’t your guilt to carry.. Wishing you well Ian.. Hugs Sue xx

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  20. Androgoth
    Jul 10, 2012 @ 21:45:01

    A very good posting Sue,
    and one that reaches out
    to others as they attempt
    to lose that inner struggle,
    which in time and lots of
    self determination can lift
    the hurt and let go 🙂

    Have a lovely evening 🙂

    Androgoth XXx

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  21. Cat Forsley
    Jul 10, 2012 @ 23:09:05

    Sunshine and heavenly sounds ……:) 🙂 🙂

    have a beautiful night xo

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  22. eddietwohawks
    Jul 11, 2012 @ 17:32:21

    Bless your heart dear Dreamwalker. Perhaps hearing what has been said about pain will help you and anyone suffering.
    “Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain” William Faulkner

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 11, 2012 @ 18:43:54

      We are never given more than we can handle hey Eddie 🙂 But without Pain of any sort we do not grow.. I have a belief we are given challenges to stretch us and test us.. And as we stretch we grow both in spirit and in heart.. I grew up alot! at an early age.. and Im still growing!!! 🙂 Every upwards.. 🙂 Thank you Eddie,, Blessings DW.

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  23. Oceanwaves
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 11:51:05

    So sorry to read this of you Sue feeling unloved my your mother..thats a really harsh thing..can haunt us from time to time.

    Yes, I also understand how bitter and sweet the test of time can be.
    Sometimes we wander aimlessly until we find our right track again along the path of growth and knowledge realising then who we were who we have become and who we are today.
    All of it has brought you to the here and now. This is what I always say to myself when I feel pain hurt or low. Facing the hurt and achknowlegding it gives us so much freedom for no longer are we slave to it.
    You are so brave and fearless just as the bear totem 🙂
    Good on you Sue! 🙂
    Sending you loads of love, plenty of hugs….and lots of kisses xxxxxxooooooxxxxx
    Tracey:)

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Jul 17, 2012 @ 22:20:39

      Thanks Again Tracey, I understand fully without Pain and hurt we would not be who we are .. And our Past is always there to strengthen us // And yes I have called upon my Bear totem, on more than one occasion 🙂 Hugs to you too xox

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