February Challenge ~Inspiring Others by our own Awakening Experience ~ Finding Joy!

Amazing how time spins ever faster, and it doesn’t seem all that long ago I was participating in Barbara’s Awakening Challenge in 2014 in which she put our experiences into a Free e-book Book  “ A Selection of True Awakening Experiences”.. It was during this challenge I met so many more   Wonderful Light-workers here on WordPress, many who have since remained very good friends..

Barbara has once again set us a February Challenge~Inspiring others by our Awakening Experiences as she asked us to update in Part Two of  our experiences of where we are today within our awakening experiences …So our stories continue..

Overspill weir

Overspill weir ~ Emotions

My own Soul Journey has taken me through many experiences, each one a stepping stone over some turbulent waters and rocky shores, but each step has led me to peel back yet more layers I had cloaked myself in. Hiding deep within slowly through each painful layer I discovered a new strength, a new skill, and a deeper perspective of who I really am..

Recently spending time in quiet reflection in that calm place of solitude caused me to go back in time. I revisited moments from my childhood, seeing the past in a new light, which made me see how I had brought my own childlike judgements through into my adult years. Something we all do as we grow up as we absorb our surroundings within our various cultures. 

Pathway on Moorland

Waking Up~ Following your own Path.

Each learning from our environment and elders. We then perceive the world in which we were brought up within, which often can be clouded as other people’s opinions bare down on how we conform within their sets of rules and preferences. We then carry the scars within our young emotional selves believing maybe we were unworthy or useless. So much emotional baggage is carried which starts out within our childhood years.  

Appearances are deceptive ~ Light surrounds us at all times

Appearances are deceptive ~ Light surrounds us at all times

Waking up is not like someone flipping a switch, for me it has taken years to wake up to myself. And still I am in the process of peeling back yet more layers of the Me I carry around.

 We have many skins, and often our True selves are hidden behind those ‘masks’ we have built up to protect us from hurts and wounds that stem right back to our roots into our childhood years. So often as parents we do not see how deep those off the cuff remarks travel, as we brush aside our children’s questions, or fail to spend a moment listening to what they are trying to tell us.. I have been guilty of this often I know during my own busy Working Mum years to my own children.

Snowdrops push through the toughest of ground. And even though they appear delicate they show their strength

Snowdrops push through the toughest of ground. And even though they appear delicate they show their Beauty and Strength

As a child I had low self esteem, no confidence, I was shy, often tongue tied and through my teenage years suffered often with depression. During that quiet time a few weeks ago my eyes opened up even further to the Me I had become, and why I took on so many wounds that I needn’t have throughout my life.

I saw why I abhor arguments, yet arguments had plagued and followed me throughout my life, be they misunderstandings, or other peoples that I have had to step in to act as a mediator in my role as a manager within the workplace, or supporting those with violent tendencies as a support worker.  Those self same heartbeats of panic and trepidation would echo within my chest as they took me back to the Fear I once felt as a 5 yr as my heart pounded within my ears as I remembered  how I banged on a closed door crying for my Mum and Dad to stop arguing and fighting  one another.

Seagulls and Ducks

Even in murky waters Life is abundant and rich~ Over coming their differences and difficulties to survive

I became the mediator even then, used to relay messages from one to the other parent, and supposed to take sides… But I couldn’t pick a side for I loved both my parents equally. When I didn’t choose the right side when Divorce was the final outcome, some years after I had married. My mother made it clear even in my adult years she wanted me to still choose a side, and could not stop her bitterness bleeding into my life.

The mediator in me offered to mend the rift with my Mother, but when you are dealing with stubbornness there are only so many doors you can take that get slammed in one’s face. So you give up.. For you wake up to the fact the only person you are hurting is yourself. And we often over look the most important person of all that are in need of healing.. Ourselves!

Stone Images of Farm

She is in there somewhere!… If you look you can find her.

I  needed to Look, really LOOK within and find that little girl who got so, so lost and tell her I Loved her so very much..  I needed to go and find my Inner Child and tell her Life is not meant to be so serious and teach her how to Play again.

 I went to find her and sort her out in all of those things which brought me joy.. Be it to sit and be creative within the crafts that I so enjoy doing. Or just sitting within the silence in a Sunny Morning as the Sun filtered through the window as I look at the birds feeding.. I found her by just closing my eyes in the silence as I listen to her heart-beats. And within the silence the Universe was speaking back.. all I had to do was listen.    

Waking up to me has shown me that I need to be gentle with myself. As I learn that ALL that has passed within my life, came to help show me who I really am..

I think sometimes we are given our scars, for without their wounds we would not then dig deeper to heal them, and see how our words and thoughts have wounded others.. We see that there are two sides of every coin and that within our world of duality we have to have both Joy and Pain.. The Good and Bad, Happiness and Sadness. 

H.A.P.P.Y.

H.A.P.P.Y.  Happiness is a state of BEing

I have long learnt to forgive others; this new layer that I peeled away taught me how I needed to forgive myself.

I looked deeper within the Child of ME, and released the sadness she had carried for so long.

 So those quiet days sat with my projects in hand my mind did a lot of stripping back, going back to basics, and discovering all over again why you did the things you did in life as you sort out the one basic need all of us are here to discover.

To Love ourselves..

And to let go of ALL of that which you think is important. You Let go of the past, the hurt, grief, guilt and open your heart to what you have within your grasp right NOW..

 And LOVE your Inner Child. There is nothing like the sound of a child’s laughter..

I have always smiled widely, but once you WAKE up to yourself, you see how easily it is to Laugh! And enjoy all the Joy.

 For it is up to each of us to find and create it in our lives..

And I am once again finding the Music within my soul. 

Love and Blessings to you all upon your own Awakening Journey.

~Sue~

 Tomorrow Challenge is to be found at Linda’s over at http://litebeing.com

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124 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bernard25
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 11:19:51

    Bonjour SUE
    Je ne suis pas de tous les jours
    Mais à cet instant c’est un plaisir de te laisser un petit message
    Venant du cœur bises , Bernard

    Le temps n’est pas super bien triste chez moi
    Le ciel pleure cela ne réchauffe guère le cœur
    Il faut faire avec
    Belle journée , Bernard

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    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 23, 2016 @ 13:12:48

      Cher Bernard, Merci beaucoup pour votre visite d’aujourd’hui, et je suis désolé que le ciel pleure aujourd’hui où vous êtes .. Ici le soleil est souriant pour un changement. Profitez de votre journée et vous remercie pour votre cadeau .. Sue

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  2. Erika Kind
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 11:42:06

    That was such a poignant and insightful post, Sue! I still have goosebumps since I found myself in almost everything you wrote about your shyness, your awakening, your guilt feelings towards your children,… Amazing. I agree about that inner child and about the scars. The wounds open up what grew between us and our inner child and makes us finally see its light again. I found my inner child and embraced it when I defended my children against persons I could not defend myself when I was a child.
    I love what you wrote about awakening in the beginning. It is to me like turning on the light in one room and seeing the many doors that are available to enter. We get curious and open those doors and we know that there must be a switch again. Awakening to me is understanding that we know so little but have so much wonderful things to discover!
    I love your post! 💖

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 23, 2016 @ 13:09:55

      Dear Erika how lovely to find you among the first to comment 🙂 Yes life is an ongoing journey and I am so loving discovering what we are meant to learn along the way.. Even though at times in life one maybe has not always understood the lessons 🙂 until much later when you look back and see there indeed was a reason and that reason helped you grow..
      Many thanks again my new friend for your comment and support 🙂

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  3. gageier
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 12:17:51

    Liebe Sue einen schönen Dienstag mit vielen lieben Grüßen Klaus in Freundschaft

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  4. Hariod Brawn
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 12:43:16

    Such a wonderful expression of true candour, humility and a sagacity born of painful past experience. You have done amazing work dear Sue, and become an exemplar of personal transformation. H ❤

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  5. Dayna
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 12:47:16

    Thank you Sue for your inspiring story. I, too, have been delving into my past. It seems a constant process but one that, when really delved into, brings about much relief and awareness of Self. I so relate to your experience with your parent’s divorce, though mine happened when I was 8 years old. I chose a side, unwillingly, because I didn’t know what else to do. It ruined my relationship with my father, one I barely repaired before he died. 😦

    I especially love this: And I am once again finding the Music within my soul.

    In Divine Love,
    Dayna

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 23, 2016 @ 13:49:15

      Mine is a long story but my Mother decided she wasn’t going to speak to me and didn’t for over 10 yrs despite my trying.. The Universe gave us a last chance to change it about 3 months before she past to spirit when we ran into each other around a corner in town.. I spoke, she didn’t she ran almost in the opposite direction.. Sad for she missed so much of her grandchildren too.. It took a lot of healing work.. and sometimes you think you have it conquered.. Only this time around on my childhood revisit within my memory.. I finally felt the release of all that sadness I had held.. For I had always felt unloved being the eldest of 5 siblings.. I now know I was loved, but it was always hard for my Mother to show it

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  6. Somali K Chakrabarti
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 13:14:37

    Sue, you have so beautifully conveyed your awakening experience. Yes sometimes it takes years for us to wake up to ourselves. We build our own defenses and hide behind the masks. In the process we the harden up, become mechanical and tender feelings lie buried somewhere deep within. It is inspiring to read how you chose to heal your wounds, rise above the toxicity, forgive others and forgive yourself.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 23, 2016 @ 14:01:44

      Lovely to have your comment Somali, and so pleased I check my Spam box as WordPress spam filter must have thrown you in there by mistake.. So I am very pleased to rescue you.. I know only too well having been in a spam box myself how it then keeps throwing us back in LOL.. 🙂
      Many thanks for your comment.. Yes we do build our defences and often are unaware of the traits we carry from the scars of our childhood.. Mine were emotional only.. I am very lucky in that respect when I think of the burdens and abusive scars so many young children have to bare..
      Learning that we only hurt ourselves by carrying anger,and sadness etc takes time.. But once we see it is carrying such emotions that weigh us down… ‘Depressing!’ us.. It is not easy to let go, but once you are able to.. The release is instant.. As we lighten our Spirits.. Many thanks Somali xx

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  7. prenin
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 13:19:08

    Love and hugs my friend! 🙂

    I found my inner child decades ago and learned that it is one thing for an adult to abuse and torture thier children, quite another to forgive them when they deny everything and try to make out it is all in your mind.

    I am happy despite the decades of persecution by my tormentors, so I guess I’m winning! 🙂

    God Bless You now and Always! 🙂

    Prenin.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 23, 2016 @ 14:06:32

      yes you are winning Prenin, and you are a testament to surviving abuse.. You have come such a long way in your life my friend and you should be proud of whom you now are and the gift you bring to the world by being YOU.. Love and squishy hugs my friend

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  8. DG MARYOGA
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 13:25:26

    A sinsere confession from the innermost enclosure of your soul,where pure light took over dark grounds.Such is your beautiful post,dear Sue!A cascade of feelings and emotions,past and present,with nature playing the role of an astute medium.I particularly liked your allegorical photo with the strenuous efforts of the snowdrops to show off their beauty and the murky waterscape with its subdued reflections.Have a wonderful sunny day,dear friend 🙂 xxx

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 23, 2016 @ 13:38:42

      Dearest Doda… My smile just widened 🙂 even more to see your presence here again and hope you had a lovely weekend..
      Thank you so much for your beautiful comments also Doda.. and yes the snow drops have always reminded me how hard they work through often frozen ground to bring us their delicate blooms.. So fragile looking and yet so strong.. So many of spirit are like that.. And we should never judge those who rise up through the muddy waters, for often they teach us the best lessons of all, as they show us how to share that which we have.. 🙂 Mega Hugs your way Doda.. Lots of love your way x

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      • DG MARYOGA
        Feb 23, 2016 @ 15:24:07

        Thank you for your warm welcoming and your appreciation,dearest Sue!Always a joy to stroll around the paths of your soul and enjoy the beauty and the “Light” of our world through your meaningful photography and your insightful perspective.
        There was also a call from our universe and I ran there to listen to its voices and to what your “The Universe Speaks … ” post had to say … 🙂 xoxoxox

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  9. AmyRose🌹
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 14:01:21

    Wow, Sue, so much of what is written here resonates within myself. This waking up process is painful yet ever so worth the fears and tears. As I lay in a delirium flashbacks one after the other smashed into my consciousness and as I laid there with horror threatening to break my sanity, I began to stop fighting and began to pray for release from this torture that still to this day I had been dragging along with me. To see the pain of who I was brought such panic as such I don’t think I have ever known yet I was determined this time to let all this baggage go. I honestly don’t know what I have attained yet, for I am still recovering from this major illness. All I do know that with the high temperatures much dross was burned off. It’s scary to still see the ghosts of our pasts still haunting us when we thought we had let them all go. Layers within layers these ghosts hide and in peeling back each layer and allowing the Light in, those ghosts are no more. I really congratulate you for your Journey for I really know how difficult it is. Peace, Sue. ❤

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 23, 2016 @ 14:16:41

      Its hard Amy, and anyone who says to let go is easy, I wish it were that simple, So many times in my life I have though I had released the pain and yet a situation or a thought would have those self same thoughts of being unworthy thrown back in my face along with the deep wounds we so often carry but never speak of..
      The onion as I tend to call it is painful, for each layer we shed tears.. Yet each time the load is lighter.. This time around I felt a huge shift.. And I had been dreaming about my Mother too.. Often I dream of her, always she never speaks.. Within this dream she spoke and held my hand.. so the healing is both sides of the coin.. For who knows what she is holding onto??
      Many thanks Amy.. and I hope as your own journey progresses you too can shed the final layers that bind our hearts to those ghosts that haunt us from our past.. xxx love and Hugs ❤

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  10. writersdream9
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 14:11:48

    You are on a blessed journey and I thank you for sharing it. When we share it truly can help another as well as ourselves! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. litebeing
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 14:45:46

    Dearest Sue,
    It has been a pleasure to read your story this morning. The images so seamlessly complemented your piece by piece process of healing and reflection. So many of us come from difficult beginnings and I strongly sense that those beginnings were orchestrated to bring out the strongest and brightest qualities and aspects of Self.

    I am still writing my piece so my heart fluttered to see that I follow you tomorrow 😉 .

    Waking up for many is perhaps a lifelong process, and beyond this physical incarnation. Please take excellent care of you, You are soooooo loved.

    love and harmony with plenty of play,
    Linda

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  12. Writing to Freedom
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 15:46:25

    Thank you Sue. I resonate and share a very similar background of trying to be the peacemaker and losing my joy and innocence. It’s been a long painful process to awaken, and far too often I don’t feel good about myself or where my life is. Then I get a nudge from a friend, blogger or spirit to lighten up, be gentle and compassionate. We grow through our challenges. And it’s good to nurture ourselves and play. Thanks for sharing such wise, caring and vulnerable words.
    I’m grateful to share the journey with you and other kind souls here on WP.

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. alohaleya
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 16:41:16

    Thank you so much for this beautiful post, Sue. I see myself in so much of it. I especially relate to your words on forgiveness of self. This is something I’m learning for myself. I have dwelled more in self-punishment than self-forgiveness but I feel some new light coming in, saying it’s time to let it all go… There’s no need to hold on to that harsh self-judgment anymore. (I guess there never was.) Much love, Aleya

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 24, 2016 @ 14:49:43

      I hope you do allow that new light in Aleya, and learn to let go of self punishment.. it serves no one.. Yet we do it unconsciously half the time as we are hard on ourselves.. Letting go is easy said.. Harder to do.. but the effort in keeping on peeling back the layers of self is worth it when we get to the core issue and expose it to the light.. The sheer relief and weight of it going is indescribable.. Many thanks for your lovely comment Aleya.. Loved your visit.. Many thanks.. Sue

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  14. Traveling Rockhopper
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 17:32:04

    Very beautiful places! 🙂

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  15. silentlyheardonce
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 17:47:02

    Reading your words in this post it is hard to believe that you exp[erienced a turbulent childhood. You write with so much peace and serenity. I’m so glad that you are full of awareness of self.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 24, 2016 @ 14:45:03

      More emotional turmoil I think Kim, traumatic none the less… A path which led me to my present path.. of which I am grateful… even though at times the journey has been rough.. Its not been as rough as many.. of that I am very grateful..
      🙂 thank you Kim for your lovely comment.. x

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  16. suzicate
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 17:48:22

    We grow up under conditioning environments our beliefs are often skewed or limited. When we allow ourselves to intuit life and form our own opinions we open to who we are deep within.Even through chaotic times of my past, I am grateful for these experiences which shaped me into the person I am.
    Love and blessing to you, Sue. Thank you for bravely sharing your words.

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  17. Val Boyko
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 18:29:05

    Thank you Sue for sharing your journey and your compassionate being. Embrace that little girl and let her play with all the other children within us all. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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  18. Maniparna Sengupta Majumder
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 20:30:19

    The fighting between the parents often leaves the child with great insecurity.The worst part is, parents always want the child to take a ‘side’, but is it really possible? How can a child choose between her/his mom and dad? They need both, for the support and love.

    I can resonate with your shyness as a child. Yes, I lacked confidence and was very much introvert. It’s after my 10th grade that I started opening myself…peeling process, one can say…:-)

    But, I think, to move forward with the life, we should let go the bad feelings and memories. Life is beautiful, after all, and we have every right to look towards a brighter future, a better ‘me’… 🙂

    Thanks for sharing this insightful post, Sue….

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 24, 2016 @ 14:23:00

      I agree, the letting go of bad feelings often takes us a while to throw away.. We all of us need to understand we are loved.. And the greatest service we can do ourselves is to learn to love ourselves.. Many thanks again my friend for you lovely comment Maniparna.. Its so lovely to have you here at Dreamwalker’s

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  19. Barbara Franken
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 21:03:25

    Divine Sue, I feel your relaxed posture now looking back on such hardships… I resonate with so much of your journey as a child, carrying the burdens of feeling anything but love and working our way to perfection… until now when we realise that we exist, we are wise and we can allow ourselves to vibrate in joy… No matter what. Thankyou so much for your most heart warming truth that I know will continue inspiring many as they now step into their own awakening experience and dismantling all that comfort them and hold dear. Much love xxx barbara (sorry not to respond on my blog but I’m trying to resolve why I keep commenting as admin)

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 24, 2016 @ 14:18:56

      Thank you again Barbara for bringing us all the opportunity to come together in this fashion and speak our truths.. And I do give thanks for them, for without the ripples along the river in life, we would be stagnant and stale not moving forward.. So I give thanks for the turbulences that allowed me to flow deeper within myself, as I kept afloat, keeping my balance and holding my head above the water.. Swimming with the tide is better than battling against it.. And I hope I can still hold out my hand to help others who may be floundering.. As you yourself do so brilliantly..
      Love and Blessings Barbara… Many thanks my friend ❤

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  20. Karin
    Feb 23, 2016 @ 21:04:22

    Thank you for sharing your story. You’ve gone through rough times and did some amazing healing work. I resonate with finding joy in stillness and creativity. I can also relate to the fact that buried sadness has to be felt and released before it can be healed.
    Your path is inspiring and shows that waking up and all the release work is hard work. And here I am also thinking of the parts of your journey related to health and past life regressions.
    Blessings and peace,
    Karin

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 24, 2016 @ 14:12:50

      Not as rough as many on this planet Karin, for that I am grateful for. But emotionally within my own world of thought yes I needed to heal.. And I guess lots of that little girls sadness got buried for so many years.. Its good to finally release her and allow her some play time and laughter.. And Yes you would be right about past life issues.. Also why just after my Mother stopped speaking to me I had a nervous breakdown, which took six months off work and lots of healing to mend.. I suppose the core of that never got dug out, despite my visits to counsellors at the time.. So the journey uncovers lots we bury.. Would I change my pathway.. No… for all I needed to become ME… was set in my blue print.. My parents being the first choice I made when I chose my Earth life 🙂 xxx Big hugs. Sue

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  21. Mark Lanesbury
    Feb 24, 2016 @ 03:48:47

    It is a very big journey Sue, to find that little girl caught in the headlights of life. You have been bound by the love of two people who meant so much to you, and being forced to choose by another’s fear.
    And it isn’t until many years later that you find that it isn’t about either of their love, but your love of self within. It is in fact the exact thing that you needed to go through, so that you could find yourself.
    My hardest part was to forgive my dad, and myself, as I hated him like nothing else. But slowly I finally found that fear I had tucked away deep inside, that fear of feeling rejected by him which left me holding up a wall so others couldn’t hurt me the same way. I would drown people in my fear by doing everything they asked of me so they wouldn’t reject me like my dad, I would overkill in my relationships by taking them everywhere, bunches of flowers, pulling chairs out in restaurants etc, until they couldn’t do it anymore, and left.
    Of course I would blame them, how could they not want those things. But that was me creating and projecting my fear, and we all do it in our own ways that our fears hold us. But it isn’t until we look beneath those actions that we will finally see what that fear was built on…understand it…and finally be free.
    I can feel your journey Sue, the pain and hurt that is always part of it….but when understood, it gives such a huge release when you finally see and appreciate that you are worth so much more, and give that love to yourself.
    It isn’t about whether you love them or not. You will love them completely regardless. But it is when you can let that go and come back inside to you, and finally touch what has been waiting very patiently for you to find within, that you will open truly and be the love that you are.
    And when found, you will love them even more, because you will understand that journey that you have been through now, and appreciate who you are and what that now means to you, and love them all the more because of it.
    I am enjoying the beauty in your words, a healing and release of all that went before, a spreading of your heart as you share your journey that has allowed you to find that truth within. And it is a beautiful scene that you draw Sue…thank you for sharing that love, and the soul that it is creating. Namaste

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 24, 2016 @ 14:01:00

      Mark I so thank you for your words… and your own revelations.. I so empathise with all you have said.. And your compensating by going overboard on ‘giving’ became over powering.. I see many reflections of myself there.. I spent the whole of my life within my career path wanting to please.. seeking approval.. not really understanding that it all stemmed from seeking my Mother’s approval or Love.. Tears are now flowing, triggered first by Ka’s kind remark and now flowing through your own..
      I know from our conversations in the past upon our posts how often our stories I can relate to your feelings.. And knew the joy you also felt when you too finally threw off that final layer and let go and knew to love your self..
      Thank you so very much Mark, from the bottom of my heart to yours…
      Love and Blessings Sue

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      • Mark Lanesbury
        Feb 24, 2016 @ 21:22:30

        Just be gentle and allow yourself time with that beautiful heart within Sue. It is a big journey as you have said, of peeling back those layers to find our truth. Your eyes may sting and tears may flow, but they are cleansing your path to a more lovely future.
        Big *hugs* as you settle into the new you ❤ xo

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        • Sue Dreamwalker
          Feb 26, 2016 @ 16:11:01

          I agree with you Mark.. cleansing from within enabling a clearer path to be formed while removing debris with tears.. Many thanks Mark for your great understanding.. I so appreciate your encouragement 🙂

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  22. Ka Malana@Fiestaestrellas.com
    Feb 24, 2016 @ 04:23:44

    Hi Sue,
    I hold your story close to my heart, for in many ways, I can relate to it. I feel really honored to know you. From reading, I felt this sense of how far you have come in appreciation and self-love. I’m thinking of the way you illustrated this with the picture of you inside the large golden hand. It’s not easy, sometimes, to love ourselves through the confusing times, under responsibility and external demands for pieces of us. I think forgiveness, in part, has a lot to do with allowing ourselves to be in a state of “I don’t know” and acceptance of what is, while holding the possibility that there may be ways to look at what happens to us beyond our perceptions. I am still learning. I admire your dedication to the process of self-discovery and forgiveness. I admire the way you always show up for your friends in life regardless of whether your not they felt they had your support (your mom), as support in your case did not look like “taking sides.” How can we with unconditional love? Ultimately we get to do that loving for ourselves, inside ourselves, even if the elements outside aren’t in the harmony with the peace that our souls crave. I believe that we can forgive ourselves for not being responsible for making other people harmonious with each other, for not being omnipotent, for not inspiring enough peace. I think that we can accept that we have done our best, and turn inward to gaze at the horizon inside us, listen to the birds, as you have done, and keep on keeping on, harmonizing within. Thank you, my friend xoxo Ka

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 24, 2016 @ 13:52:17

      Dearest Ka,
      Your comment brought tears to my eyes.. 🙂 and a lump so big to my throat.. Yes I now accept I did the best I knew how to at the time, and I also accept so did my Mother, for her perception had never been to reach out and give, her children had to always do the giving. Be it to ring her, or visit her. She could never seem to Give of herself..

      I remember one time before the rift when she moved nearer to where I lived after her divorce, she never knocked upon my door It was a summer weekend.. I was in the kitchen cooking, she came around my back garden and sat in the chair out in the garden… ( her flat had no garden or view ).. She said.. ” I have only come to use your garden!” even my husband was taken aback.. She could never say I have come to see you… And I don’t think I ever heard the words I love you.. but I could be wrong.Again our perceptions often cloud within the mind we build around ourselves..
      You always seem to know what I need to hear Ka.. and understood the journey its taken.. Many thanks my friend 🙂 xx ❤

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  23. insearchofitall
    Feb 24, 2016 @ 14:54:01

    What a beautiful post, Sue. Yes, there are many layers to us. Like peeling the onion. I am sorry to say that I can relate to this. I don’t think I was as shy as you. My circumstances forced me to become more forward or I would have withered on the vine and died. There was never a small child in me. I came into the world old with an understanding of my work. Odd, I know. I remember a few years ago reading Doreen Virtue’s ” The Lightworker’s Way” and knew it was written for me to read. I was telling some friends yesterday that I had made peace with my mother before she was gone and appreciated the things I learned from both parents by how they treated us. They taught me compassion and empathy. Great gifts. We never stop the awakening process and are never finding the lessons and the joy. Depression, I learned a number of years ago at the end of my struggle with it is anger turned inward. I had 3 breakdowns by 21 and another at 40 something. Complete breaks with reality. It’s been a long, long climb and I’m so grateful that people write with deep emotion and honesty to hand a rope to the rest of those struggling so we can climb out of the well. It’s important work. Keep doing it.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 26, 2016 @ 16:52:17

      Yes I learnt lots from both of my parents also dear Marlene, and sorry to learn your own journey took you through a similar learning route to self.. One break down was more than enough for me my friend, so I so admire the strength it takes to return from them.. I was in my 40’s in the 90’s and so fully understand what you mean with breaks with reality mean.. No one can pull us up but ourselves, despite all the professional help.. At the end we have to dig deep to climb out of our dark wells… Some of my most deepest poetry was written during this time..
      We are a work in progress Marlene.. in constant need of remoulding 🙂 I tweaked yet another layer of me, and felt better for it.. Thank you Marlene for your kindness and in sharing of your own experiences.. It is very much appreciated.. Thank you 🙂 ❤ xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  24. IreneDesign2011
    Feb 24, 2016 @ 15:35:15

    You are so enlightened in your own healing Sue, it is so good to read, that you found your way to go through each layer of the onion. It is very hard work, but the less we are pushing, the more easy we get to see, what we are ready for, here and now.
    I have worked with my childhood too and thought that I were through the most important about my mother, but no, it just started again, just in another way, so more work and more healing.
    Thank you for sharing your story and be so inspirational for all others, my friend.
    Much love ❤ Irene

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 26, 2016 @ 15:39:29

      Thank you Irene.. sorry for the delay in answering.. Just been curled up within my nest LOL, and nurturing myself for a few days as my energy was not as it should have been.. So nice to return and found your lovely comment.. Yes it is surprising just how much we bury and keep digging out again.. I too though I had done enough work a few years ago, but I feel this time much lighter.. Also I have been doing some deeper meditation work which is probably shedding more layers I am not conscious of.. Sending lots of love your way too Irene.. have a lovely weekend.. we have had some lovely clear skies here this week for a change.. Even though very cold.. 🙂 Its been so nice to see Blue above 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  25. megdekorne
    Feb 24, 2016 @ 17:29:38

    This is so beautiful Sue , your soul , the way you live on this earth , your love ….I am honored to know you ….love , megxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  26. lavendermoongirlblog
    Feb 24, 2016 @ 17:31:27

    Sue, this is such a beautiful piece of illustrated writing. Your photos reflect your words so well. I read your journey of pain, your awakening and how you embrace ‘you’ in the ‘now’. It is so easy to forget to laugh or to embrace who we are. Thanks for the reminder! Lol and hugsXxx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 26, 2016 @ 15:51:03

      It is LG very easy to neglect the Fun of living.. especially in today’s world, we are far too serious for our own well being.. And sometimes you can not fathom what it is that is making you sad until you do a little soul searching and digging into your inner most being.. Self Healing is well worth it.. but it can be a painful emotional process… And I am so thankful to be surrounded by so many like minded friends here within my WordPress Family who totally understand the process.. It is why I share the journey .. Many thanks for your love and hugs LG.. it is always good when we catch up.. thank you so much .. ❤

      Like

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  27. dgkaye
    Feb 25, 2016 @ 03:36:50

    I’m so glad you are discovering yourself Sue. Your words are so similar to my own childhood, again, I have to say we are kindred spirits, for we have walked many of the same paths. We are always learning. I too learned forgiveness after writing my first book, and am now writing the sequel to that book which brings me back to a lot more soul searching and discoveries. Indeed we must learn to understand our wounds. I’m so happy you’re on a positive path right now. xoxo ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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  28. giselzitrone
    Feb 25, 2016 @ 11:47:32


    Hallo liebe Sue wünsche dir einen schönen Donnerstag ein guter Beitrag ja Kinder leide unter der Trennung der Eltern für Kinder schlimm lieber Gruß und eine große Umarmung Gislinde

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 26, 2016 @ 16:13:23

      Vielen Dank für Gislinde lesen .. und ich hoffe, dass auch Ihre Woche war ein guter mein Freund .. Senden Liebe für ein schönes Wochenende für Sie und Klaus .. Umarmungen Sue

      Like

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  29. Eddie Two Hawks
    Feb 25, 2016 @ 14:25:17

    It is said that everything encountered in our life is waiting for us. That all of what we have and will experience is in direct result of our actions (karma).
    Plan well.
    with love and light, Eddie

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  30. belasbrightideas
    Feb 25, 2016 @ 19:03:29

    Gosh, we have much in common, Sue! I believe this is likely true for most sensitives in this life. Abhorring conflict, we are immersed in it. Expecting more of ourselves on the path of consciousness than is necessary. Who can say, in the end, that the human experiment has failed? Who can say if we have? I believe that every single action we take toward greater awareness has far greater implications than we likely think it does. Small movements matter. And accepting life on its OWN terms, rife with the spectrum of feelings, emotions, and consequences, is, I believe, Key. To place ourselves squarely in the hurricane but to discover the eye, the calm in the storm, is far more productive and satisfying than to simply observe from the outside. Though we might wish this was what we could ‘always’ do! Yet how great would our growth be in this life without adversity? In any case, good to read your words, dear one, and Peace. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 26, 2016 @ 16:36:35

      I agree with you Bela.. and totally agree with your words “I believe that every single action we take toward greater awareness has far greater implications than we likely think it does. Small movements matter”
      I remember once giving a reading to a medium friend of mine oh many years ago now.. Her life was rife with conflict, tragedies, and so much ill health, all seemed to follow her.. She kept asking her guides and yet would not get any answers..
      She came to me searching for one particular answer to a problem.. Of which I couldn’t solve.. not should I for it was not mine too solve.. Spirit told me to tell her, that she had made a blue print to experience all she had experienced.. And that her emotional journey along with all the trauma was her fast path if you like of saving herself many life times of experiences…
      She then began to see these trials not as challenges, but as tests to overcome, and it helped her see its how we overcome them that helps our progression..
      So yes I so understand ALL that you have said here Bela.. It is all part of our growth in ways we have yet to fully understand..
      Many thanks again for your love and support Bela and empathy of understanding from your own experiences in life.. Much Love xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  31. Aquileana
    Feb 26, 2016 @ 19:50:43

    Beautiful words, and love the way you pick up fragments and moments in your life and grab the learnings that came alongside them….. The ending poem is very compelling as Well… Thanks so much for sharing dear Sue.
    Much love and happy weekend ahead. Aquileana 😍😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  32. Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature
    Feb 26, 2016 @ 22:13:25

    You are like a snowdrop, Sue, pushing through the toughest of ground. “And even though they appear delicate they show their Beauty and Strength.” Just like you! Not that you appear delicate necessarily, You appear lovely and strong now, but as a child, yes, a delicate flower.
    Blessings on your beautiful journey
    Mary

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 28, 2016 @ 11:57:02

      Dearest Mary,
      Your words touched me deeply, Thank you my friend.. Many thanks Mary and I am so pleased we are walking along our paths at this time and I so enjoy our walking together along our particular part of this journey 🙂 ❤ Love and Blessings right back.. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  33. Paul Handover
    Feb 26, 2016 @ 22:40:44

    Sue, keep banging your beautiful drum! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  34. Cynthia
    Feb 27, 2016 @ 01:50:03

    Hi there, sweet friend! I’m sorry I end up coming late to the comment game so often: I need to change my notifications and, I don’t always get a lot of time during the week. That just means I have your wonderful words to look forward to toward the end of the week. 🙂
    It’s pretty awesome reading about your journey. And inspiring: in my own life my practice of meditation and gratitude help to soften the ebbs and flows of life’s events, but my own immediate family (who happen to live a two-day drive away) has splintered and become quite unhealthy. People are taking sides and I’m not sure quite how they will heal themselves. It’s in that moment that I realize that their battles are not my own and to not focus on that, but to focus on what’s going right, both with myself and in trying to be thankful for the eventual healing I’d love to see.
    Thank you for sharing your journey. You’re a lighthouse and beacon on the stormy sea waters and many people look to your love and light. Keep on shining!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 28, 2016 @ 12:04:30

      Exactly right that you focus upon what is going right within your own close family.. And you are so right too.. Their battles are not yours.. And despite others taking sides.. I have found it best to wish them well and focus upon my own immediate family.. We are each personally responsible for our own actions.. And nothing we can often do or say can change them.. So we often waste our energies trying too.. Although this is something I have had to learn along the way.. 🙂
      Many thanks dear Cyndi, I hope your distant family heal and learn in the process love has no sides.. xxx ❤

      Like

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  35. stephensmustang1
    Feb 27, 2016 @ 04:35:55

    So very beautiful and honest, my friend. Thanks for sharing your heart and spirit.
    We learn much as we grow in age and ‘letting go, forgiveness, are just a couple that make a huge difference in how we live, shine and love. Hugs, to you

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  36. Dalo 2013
    Feb 28, 2016 @ 00:17:13

    I love how you open this post, an incredible shot that seems to be playing tricks on time/space along with your great opening line “Amazing how time spins ever faster…” Somewhere along the way when times begins speeding up, we lose the idea and feel for discovery. We no longer are focusing on discovering something new, or being intrigued by something we see along the day. Instead, we become focused on just making it through the day. Taking the burdens of the past and carrying them into the present.

    Instead, as you allude to in your post, if we can begin each day with the idea of discovery and thus leaving all burdens of the past where they originated and belong (in the past), can be let go and discover the newness of discovery and adventures every day. To get the mind flowing, and in a sense slow down time. Beautiful and insightful post, which is what you bring to us always. Cheers to a great day Sue.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 28, 2016 @ 12:11:04

      Thank you Randall I could not have described the message of my post any better my friend..
      And that is just what I have been doing too.. Discovering new adventures 🙂 skills that will take time and patience, but bring pleasure in the moment.. Which are allowing my mind to flow thus slowing time down , that allows me to absorb this new found Joy of Self 🙂
      Many thanks my friend.. It is always a great pleasure to have you visit and I love your profound wisdom you always leave me.. 🙂

      Like

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  37. aussieian2011
    Feb 28, 2016 @ 03:09:39

    Thank you for sharing that very deep insightful self appraisal Sue, reading through it I found I could relate in many instances, to the points you were making, not dissimilar to my own.
    Picking sides for a child is very hard, and sometimes they grow into adults and still refuse to pick sides, then again some children will pick a side in childhood, particularly with Divorce, and they will carry that through into adulthood with bitterness, decisions made through the Heart and Mind of a child, does not allow for mature appreciation in Adult years.
    I always learn something from your posts Sue, you never fail to deliver.
    Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 28, 2016 @ 12:24:32

      Thank you Ian.. Yes children often are the silent sufferers of partings of their parents.. And its a difficult time for all concerned.. It is sad when such divisions are made.. Often when a child is too young to understand.. But the energies of the dominating parent often leads to lasting impressions which are imprinted onto young children.. Because they are so bombarded with the bitterness residue.. I so understand where you are coming from Ian.. And I thank you my friend.. Hugs Sue

      Liked by 2 people

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  38. dreamingthruthetwilight
    Feb 28, 2016 @ 07:02:40

    Here’s me adding a beat to your drum 🙂 I’ve been reading your post on this lazy Sunday morning on my desktop, while the strains of native American music is filling the air from another window open to the You Tube and it has filled this hour with so much peace and love….The comments from others, each remembering the paths of their own awakening…it feels like we’ve all reached a vast open green meadow on the top on a mountain, under blue skies and we’re dancing hand in hand in a large circle of love and empathy. We can see the different trails by which we reached here and remember the sweat and tears and uncertainties that plagued us.But the stones no longer prick the soles of our bare feet, our lungs no longer feel constricted by the effort of the climb; loneliness doesn’t haunt , for we now know that the perception of separation was just that and that had we really listened, we would’ve been able to hear the footsteps of others around us , also plodding along to reach here. Yes, it is important that you write of this open space , so that the others still climbing know that eventually this is where all have to and will reach. What a relief it is to know that our own energies of love can make the miles disappear. Loads of love dear friend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 28, 2016 @ 12:32:46

      Dearest Nadira
      Your words ripple like a babbling brook among the mountain meadow dear Nadira.. Such wisdom echos within your words.. They are profound to say the least. May I use this quote of yours in a post of mine dear Nadira.. I know many will appreciate your thoughts.. Thank you for this wonderful compliment my friend _/\_

      Like

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  39. Michael
    Feb 28, 2016 @ 19:49:18

    Hi Sue,

    I think it is so profoundly difficult for children to be in situations like you described, with the parents fighting and yelling and asking the child to choose sides. The echoes would subsist in every experience of relationship and the world throughout one’s life until the healing is accomplished. You have emerged as a beautiful friend to so many… I admire you very much for pushing through the darkness and finding your true home…

    Peace
    Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 29, 2016 @ 18:15:21

      Many thanks Michael, it never really dawned on me just how much pressure was put upon me as a child as ‘Go-between’ Ask your Dad for this.. Tell your Dad that.. when my mother would go into her own silent mode of treatment to my Dad..And it isn’t until you distance yourself and take an overview of how things were, and in later life how my Mum was with me and yet fine with other siblings, showed me another perspective…
      Thank you kindly Michael for taking the time to read and leave me your encouraging comment.. I truly appreciate it..

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  40. Tom Merriman
    Feb 28, 2016 @ 21:05:06

    Hi Sue, I’m just catching up now. And what an amazing post.
    I’m so deeply hidden within myself behind veils and shields and masks it’s untrue. I have a barrier that prevents people from getting too close which I think makes me seem aloof somewhat, but I’m just (over) guarded I suppose. I’m not too bad on the blogs and feel I prefer the written conversations to the verbal ones, but I also use the blog as a form of escape. I write about feeling good a lot, and I can say that I do so quite a lot of the time. I’m perfectly happy with my own company, and you never know, that one day I shall take a deeper look at myself an see why that is. I have a few ideas, and I think releasing a few of them may help with moving on.
    But for you: I’m pleased you have reconnected with your Inner Child. Enjoy your laughter.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  41. balroop2013
    Feb 29, 2016 @ 06:42:17

    Hi Sue,

    Thanks for sharing the most untouched and poignant moments of your life…often we keep shoving them into the crevices but they do emerge to remind us how essential is healing for our own peace and rejuvenation.
    Emotional scars never heal…waking up does help in lessening the burden; forgiveness puts us on the path to begin self-healing…a long process!
    I wish I had known earlier that healing is possible; I wish I could forgive my tormentors earlier. It is very inspiring to note I was not the only child who had a troubled childhood. I am glad I could give the best of everything to my own children.
    I am so happy for your journey to inner peace, I love that laughter, that friendship with your inner child, that awakening, that music within your soul…all that is reaching me dear friend and inspiring me. Love those images, which align so well with your reflections.
    Love and hugs! Stay blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 29, 2016 @ 17:58:32

      Yes we do ‘push’ them to the back often Balroop, The one good thing now is that through your own past experience you are healing and you are also sharing so much of that healing with others through your insights which maybe would not have reached so many had you not experienced your troubled childhood.
      May you also keep smiling and teach that which you do so well… Many thanks for your beautiful words.. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  42. Trackback: Awakening – The Power Of Saying No! | Erika Kind
  43. Lynz Real Cooking
    Feb 29, 2016 @ 12:15:31

    This is a wonderful post with so much to think about for me! It is so hard to find ourselves and our happy child that we lost so many years ago! we do see the world in a way that is shaped from our childhood and it is hard to let go and find a new way! I loved the post Sue and have to really think about this awakening!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  44. Faraday's Candle
    Mar 01, 2016 @ 14:11:04

    Simply inspirational!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  45. bluebutterfliesandme
    Mar 03, 2016 @ 00:52:45

    What a way with words you have Sue. I recently shared in someone else awakening post that, my guide had told me to “Be gentler, be gentler with myself, and others.”

    Love you bunches
    Sindy

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  46. Maria F.
    Mar 03, 2016 @ 07:50:15

    Beautiful images Sue, I like this communion with Nature.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  47. Earth Angel
    Mar 12, 2016 @ 23:02:59

    Raw and BEAUTY FULL my friend. looking to share my journey as well. you have inspired me to write, so I will look into this. Heart to Heart Robyn

    Like

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