Fear of the Future

Now most who follow me know I try to bring a positive touch within my posts… Yet to be quite honest with you all I am really struggling right now to lift myself from the doldrums of my own thoughts.

The key to conquering our fears lies in awareness. When we identify the irrational thoughts that frighten us and replace them with positive affirming ones.

Argh… all easier said than done I hear you say..

You would think with my inner Knowing, and my Spiritual mind I should be the last person to take a nose dive into that Pit of depression.. Especially when I dredged its depth before and vowed that I had been there done that and worn the T-shirt and I refuse to wear it again.  

I could blame it on my Fall which left me feeling bruised with aching, muscles which are still healing.. And I could blame it on grief as I lost a very beloved Aunt last week. I could blame my fatigue on me deciding to move a whole wall of books out the spare bedroom with wrists still recovering from the sprains of the fall.. And I could blame it on the weather being cold and miserable.. I could even blame it on the state of the world, or the Planets .. I have a whole host of excuses I could fall back upon to justify why I am feeling tired and jaded..

So what really is ailing me?

Last night I lay awake yet again, those dark hours of silence often give rise to the inner chatter as the inner-dialogue goes back and forth and replays over and over like and endless loop on a tape recorder..

At last I got up to make myself a drink of herbal tea.. And as we had put some of my spiritual books on a bookshelf on the landing, I grabbed a book in the half darkness what I thought was a Chicken Soup book of short stories by Jack Canfield, Instead it was the Book ‘ How to Get from Where You Are To Where You Want to Be’  By Jack Canfield.

I smiled.. I had had this book maybe around 5 or more years, and I knew I had only scanned the pages before. So I settle back with cup in hand and started to read..

The more I read the more I could see exactly what the author was getting at.. Didn’t I Know the principles of the ‘Secret’ another book upon my shelves which is on similar lines of positive thinking and affirmations. Yes I did.. so why was I sabotaging my thinking?

So I asked myself what was making me so low and feeling like my life was on hold? And I was coming up with all sorts of excuses to justify those feelings..

When I took early retirement I lapped up my spare time.. Gardening, knitting, painting and decorating.. Yet now there is a lull… a pause.. And I am asking myself what do I want to do to fill those hours in my day?..

When you have spent all your working life working often at the beck and call of others and putting others first.. It comes as a revelation to know you should be putting yourself first.. And that it’s Ok to do so.  And Its Ok too just to do nothing..

Your soul longs to fulfil its purpose—a purpose you agreed to in the timelessness in which you existed before your birth . And because of this, neither you nor the Universe will set any circumstance before you that you are not capable of handling. Fear of the future can paralyze you, preventing you from living in the moment and from working toward your goals in a mindful manner

(The key to conquering this fear lies in awareness. When you can identify the irrational thoughts that frighten you,)

I am now analysing my own thoughts more closely. We have to have courage when fear of the future  strikes out at us as we strive to create, as we evolve.

Change often creeps upon us in a gradual fashion. The World too is undergoing its Changes and I am sure we are all of us feeling those ‘Fearful ripples’ as we are swept up among them..

We have to try to disregard past patterns and disengage from the Fears we are bombarded with and focus on the present by stilling the inner voice that comments critically on all we do.

We also have to understand we can not just sit with our heads in the sand.. We are each of us responsible 100% for every thought, every Action which in turn creates a Reaction.. We too are creating our New World.. Let the goals we create help bring about Unity, Love and Peace.. 

Life changes can affect us in complex and unpredictable ways, taking us off of our comfort blanket, pushing us into new circumstances that test our limits, the mere idea of attaining the life of our dreams can shake us to the core.

As I read the first couple of chapters I was nodding along as I knew his words were ringing true. And I am 100% Responsible for my future.. I need to focus upon what sort of Future I wish to create.. And know that I can blame no one other than myself if it comes up short of my Dreams. So I had best get focusing! 😉 

Thank you for reading

Sue

  

 

104 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Writing to Freedom
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 18:53:43

    I’m glad you’re not letting the fear and depression keep you down Sue. I have a tendency to wallow. 🙂 Choice and action often help me. blessings my friend.

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  2. Hariod Brawn
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 18:58:50

    I suppose there’s something of a fine line between letting the future take care of itself (it will happen in any case – right Sue?), and setting some structure for life to unfold within. I tend to gravitate to a structure-less existence as a retiree myself, because it suits my character. For example, I’ve always been more of an observer than a participant, so structure is not so much needed under those circumstances. I think we all need a sense of purpose for the greater part of our lives – less so once we retire and approach old age – and yet this sense of itself doesn’t seem to always require a regimen, a plan, a routine or structure. Instead, it can reside in, say, spiritual matters, such as the simple development of presence in awareness, or in a passive interest in the arts. For others though, there needs to be something concrete in terms of that sense of purpose, something that can almost be measured in terms of productivity. May I ask Sue, if you can accept for a moment that simple analysis, then by which means would your sense of purpose be best fulfilled – through a passive or spiritual abiding, or through something entailing a measurable productivity? H ❤

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 15:52:45

      Dear Hariod.. I so understand your thinking Hariod.. And for the most part I try to follow your rule of thumb too… The purpose I had for a moment in time lost focus upon.. as I indulged in some thoughts which centred upon the past.. I will endeavour to explain in a forthcoming post as I went deeper into my feelings which sent my orbit plummeting for a time.. I thank you dear Hariod for you very kind observations and encouragement .. I so appreciate your presence 🙂

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  3. Paul Handover
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 19:01:55

    Sue, the best and worst of being human is our head! We can use our heads to think of the most amazing things, to be astoundingly creative in almost endless ways. Yet that same head can take us into the depths of fear, especially as one puts on a few years (I was born in 1944).

    I don’t have answers other than to feel what you are feeling. All I hang onto when I spend too much time thinking of my own mortality is that the answer, the answer to the moment, is to bury one’s face into the warm, soft fur of a dog. They seem to sense my need at these times. (And that isn’t meant to sound like me devaluing the love and affection that I receive from Jean!)

    In other words, that contact with the warm dog holds me in the present and before long the reinforcement of living that present, loving moment puts the unknown future into perspective.

    Fondest hugs, and dog licks, from Oregon!

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 15:57:33

      Thank you Paul for your kindness, My own mortality Paul was not the problem.. more of the feelings of uselessness within the sea of time as events speed up.. And having spent some days reflecting upon why I was swamped by so much jadedness I am clearer upon why I was affected more deeply by my emotions than normal… I hope to share some of my thinking with you all shortly
      Many thanks and much love to you both you and Jean for your kind support … 🙂

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  4. wolfgangpowerpoint.wordpress.com/
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 19:12:31

    😀 Wolfgang

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  5. Rajagopal
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 20:05:16

    I am a new entrant to the ageing club, like Paul, Hariod and like, who else but you Sue. Like others in our age group, I have experienced the journey from BC to AD era ( BC & AD here abbreviating for Before Computers and All Digital). Like most others, I too have been through my rounds of wise precepts and best practices. The only thing that I have seen working in my life is to keep living, as much as possible, in the present. There is nothing to fear, either of the now or of the future. In this context, wish to leave you with the story of the pregnant deer; in a forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth. She finds a remote field near a strong-flowing river, that looks like a safe place, as she starts going into labour. At the same moment, dark clouds gather in the sky and streaks of lightning sets off a forest fire. The deer looks to her left and sees an approaching hunter with arrow pointed at her. To her right, the deer spots a hungry lion speeding towards her. What can the pregnant deer do? She is in labour! What will happen? Will the deer survive? Will she give birth to the fawn and will it survive? Or will everything be burnt by the forest fire? Or will she perish to the hunter’s arrow? Or does a horrible end await her at the hands of the hungry lion? Constrained by the fire on one side, the flowing river on the other and boxed in by her natural predators, the deer is apparently left with no option. What does she do? Well, she focuses on delivering and giving birth to a new life. The sequence of events that follows is the Lightning strikes and blinds the hunter, who releases the arrow which zips past the deer and strikes the hungry lion. It starts to rain heavily and the forest fire is slowly doused by rain water. The deer gives birth to a healthy fawn….In our life too there are moments when we are confronted with negative thoughts and possibilities on all sides, so powerful as to overwhelm us. May be we can learn from the deer. The priority of the deer at that given moment was to give birth as safely as possible. The rest was not in her hands and any change in her focus would have most likely impeded giving birth to the fawn. In the midst of the severest storm, we just have to maintain presence of mind and do what is in our control…the Cosmic power will take care of the rest…best wishes… Raj.

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    • Hariod Brawn
      Feb 05, 2015 @ 20:11:48

      What a wonderful and beautiful story Raj; and how fitting too. Many thanks, Hariod.

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    • Karuna
      Feb 06, 2015 @ 06:57:43

      I agree with the others. Such a powerful and true story.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:04:27

      My dear Raj.. thank you my friend for that wonderful story.. One which is so profound in its wisdom..
      Like you my friend I try mostly to live in the present.. In fact there is no other moment in which to live.. And the depth of my own feelings were a shock to discover how I was swept up by an emotional tide I could not put my finger upon what my feelings were trying to convey to me.. So I detached for a while.. and allowed the feelings to sweep over me… And yes for a time.. I guess I wallowed in a little self pity.. But not for long.. And the power of all of your loving and kind thoughts can only have added to the healing balm felt to brighten my spirit..

      Many thanks again Raj.. I loved the trouble you took to recount that story to me. 🙂
      Blessings Sue

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  6. Julianne Victoria
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 21:08:25

    Maybe you are clearing out old remnants (I call it leftovers) of fears and depression so that you can come to even greater awareness of the contrast: love (and responsibility for yourself – thoughts, etc.) and joy. ❤ You could also call it growing pains. Icky, but necessary. 🙂

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:10:08

      Julie.. you hit the nail on its head in one stroke my lovely friend.. And I did a lot of soul searching as to why I was feeling so sad.. And I am now much clearer as to why the death of my Aunt hit me doubly hard.. And I hope to explain in a post soon .. And yes those growing pains are necessary I agree.. and I needed to shed some ( Left-overs ) from the past.. Thank you Julie.. xx

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  7. Jo Bryant
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 21:11:25

    I think I had better do some focusing myself Sue.

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  8. Mark Lanesbury
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 21:46:34

    Going through a big shift in your life Sue. Most of all just be gentle on yourself.
    This IS all about you and you have the rest of your life to go wherever your heart wishes to go.
    No expectations or it will be like dragging a bag of rocks around wherever you go. What does your inner self want to do, what gives you enjoyment, and most of all, what gives you that inner glow when you think about it.
    This is the first day of the rest of your life, go for a walk, I’m sure your guide will have something to show you, and if not it will be a relaxing and giving for you. Enjoy! Mark xo

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:14:38

      Dear Mark.. thank you my friend.. you are so right in what you said.. And I am much clearer after being gentle with myself :-).. In fact I have positively mollycoddled myself this past week.. I meditated long and deep upon why I felt like I did.. and feel much better for going within to the root of the emotion.. Many thanks for you kind guidance Mark.. Your wisdom is always appreciated . 🙂

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  9. Kentucky Angel
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 22:13:31

    Sue, as a member of the “been there, done that” club, all I can say is just roll with the punches. Try not to let things get you down by laughing at them. I had to make that choice one day, and just decided laughter makes nicer wrinkles, so now I even laugh when I fall, no matter how much it hurts, because I know it could be so much worse. And when I make it up from the floor, and find out I only hit my head, I look for the humor in that. Naturally my kids help me a lot with that one, always telling me to hit my head only, because that is the hardest part of my body. In my case, they are probably right, because any other place I hit gets broken. Just try to laugh off the pain and you have won the battle. And take care Angel, we need you in our lives.

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  10. coastalcrone
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 22:29:15

    Dark thoughts often creep into my mind in the middle of the night as I try to return to sleep. You have been candid in sharing. It can be difficult to find purpose and meaning without that job or career. Many have trouble giving it up. Sue, you will “face everything and rise,” I am sure. You have much to offer! Peace and joy to you!

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:18:06

      Yes the middle of those long wakeful nights are often the worse.. I am rising.. 🙂 and been able to alter my own perception. And faced what really ailed me.. Thank you my lovely friend.. x Sue

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  11. Enigma
    Feb 05, 2015 @ 23:32:27

    I´ll never fear future cause it died before it was born…

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  12. suzicate
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 01:22:04

    I saw these definitions (mottos) of fear on a blog recently and really made me think about how much I’ve changed and yet how easy it is to fall back to those oh so familiar patterns. I know what I need to be doing (and am focusing in my own way…the learning mode), so now I just need to jump to it. No fear allowed! (Easier said than done!) I understand where you are coming from and am doing the same in my own way. I need to hush the naysayer within and embrace all that moves me forward.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:28:12

      Thank you Suzicate.. I think sometimes we have to take a few steps backwards in order to move forward.. And Onward and forward we go 🙂 Many thanks Suzi for taking the time to visit and leave me your comment.. I appreciate your thoughts.. 🙂 Sue

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  13. Trini Lind
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 01:49:18

    🙂 If I was there I would have comforted you, we all need a little comfort 🙂 or perhaps that is just me. Sometimes it feels necessary to be disagreeable and moody, as long as it doesn’t last too long. For me, it never works to blame myself, I just tell myself that it is okay to not always feel high on life and love, even Jesus wasn’t that. As long as we don’t lose hope, as long as we are capable of escaping in to the comfort of a dream, then longing is not too bad. And I find, most of the time when I am not at my best I am longing for something. Sometimes I can get it, sometimes not, but it feels good to at least find out what it is I am longing for. Lately there has been lot of banging in my flat, there is construction work going on in the flat above. I find it quite necessary to stamp my feet little and say disagreeable things (no one can hear me) instead of meditating on blocking out the loud noises. Sometimes I find that sinking into my feelings are better than fighting them. I find that if I sink deep enough there is another surface on the bottom, and the world above that surface is just a little bit more beautiful than the one I was in. But of course, I am talking from my emotional nature and my temperament. And we are all different 🙂 Perhaps you will like my Hope poem that I published today. 🙂 🙂 🙂 Big hug to you! ❤

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:32:47

      You know Trini.. you DO bring me so much comfort, just by being YOU.. And I so understand what you mean from allowing the sadness .. I did sink into my feelings.. And discovered a few things which I had thought buried which had come to the surface..
      Sinking into them, and meditating upon them has allowed me to analyse them more fully. And it let me see why my emotions were all over the place.. I needed the shake up I think..And I loved your Wonderful Poem.. And thank you for that big Hug. both made all the difference.. ❤ ❤ ❤ xxx

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  14. JoAnn Chateau
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 01:52:33

    Oh Sue… Reading the comments to your touching post, which speaks for so many of us, I see all the understanding and love flowing towards you. I have no words of wisdom, but add my support, too. Hang in there. Keep blogging. Peace. JoAnn

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:37:20

      Many thanks JoAnn.. Thank you my new friend for adding your energy to that of others in supporting me here.. I delved deeper into my feelings and I am much better for doing so.. Sometimes I think we have to take a step back to take two forward.. I am sure I am back on track.. and I thank you kindly for taking the time to comment and leave me your kind thoughts.. Hugs Sue xx

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  15. prenin
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 01:56:00

    Because of my illness I am afraid every day, but I still get up and face the day’s tasks and where I have to leave my comfort zone I plan ahead and break the task down into steps.

    I am a lot better than I was, but not as well as I need to be, so it is a constant struggle to make each day a good one! 🙂

    Please rest my friend: You have had a busy life and now you have to take a little time out to recover from your fall.

    Sleepless nights are something I struggle with (it is 1.54am here as I write and I just got up!), but I have tasks to perform and I am happy – which is the important thing after all! 🙂

    Enjoy your books my friend and know that I too am sat here in the darkness of the night looking forward to another dawn and another couple of tasks! 🙂

    Love and huge my friend!!!

    Prenin.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:44:08

      Dear Prenin..
      Thank you my friend.. I am now well rested and feeling better for doing so.. I so thank you Prenin for your kindness… And hope to be back to normal service very soon 🙂 xxx Love and hugs back.. ❤

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  16. New Bloggy Cat
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 02:44:25

    Thanks for sharing your insights about fear. Our thoughts can make us or break us. Think happy and be positive! ٩(˘◡˘)۶

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  17. litebeing
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 04:19:13

    I could have written some of this post Sue as I am officially retired now from government work, but know I have more to do and am grieving many of the choices I did not make, so that I can arrive at my next destination. I also have more time to notice my thoughts, which is a privilege and a burden at the same time.

    My sense is that you filled up time with pleasant distracting activities and that losing your aunt heightens your awareness of mortality and the state of this planet we love so much.

    As you know, injury or accidents often show up so we can become more slow and still, at least they do on my journey.

    I will hold you in the light and send you love. Please do not judge yourself for having human thoughts and emotions. It is part of the package.

    love you,
    Linda

    PS doing no-thing is underrated 😉

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:50:38

      Bless you Linda.. I am so thankful for your comment and kindness… The fall definitely came to slow me down 🙂 And it also has given me time to reflect upon the real emotional issues that resurfaced.. Going deeper in meditation has helped me peel back some more layers which were ready to be removed..
      Many thanks dear Linda..I so appreciate your love and kindness..

      Love and Blessings back.. Sue xxx

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  18. Nihar Pradhan
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 06:25:44

    Life is a constant fight for fear…the fear what will happen in future, we are worried for our future…and forget how to live in the present. At the same time in the present there are so many distractions and attractions which keeps us confused and wandering. We all go through the lows and highs of life, and there are moments we have no answers on how to deal with it and perhaps that gives us an opportunity to learn new way of living, life is about continuous learning and working. The moment we stop learning and stop working, the very purpose of our existence is at stake and we have no questions to answer. Life cannot come to standstill, it has to keep moving and it has to keep changing…the various facets of emotions from fear to joy to agony to anxiety to excitement, the motion of life’s cycle embodies every nuances of human expression.

    You have such wonderful thoughts and you have so meaningful engagement from nurturing nature through gardening to organizing creativity through writing…you come with such inspiring ideas that it lifts us and keep us aspired and motivated.
    Fear is a positive force in life and we should embrace it to guide us and channelize our energy for more constructive and creative usage…

    You transmit magic to others…your acknowledgement that you are going through the little lows only magnifies your humbleness and the humility which is so integral to you and I feel it through your thoughts…

    Cheers!!!Simile!!!

    Have a great weekend and keep smiling for others like us who look at you for inspiration.
    😀

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 16:56:11

      Dear Nihar.. I so thank you for your own insightful wisdom my friend..
      You said “We all go through the lows and highs of life, and there are moments we have no answers on how to deal with it and perhaps that gives us an opportunity to learn new way of living, life is about continuous learning and working.”

      So true.. and this blip in my journey has allowed me to meditate upon the deeper issues which were underlying the sadness and that lost feeling..
      Many thanks Nihar for saying I ” You transmit magic to others…your acknowledgement that you are going through the little lows only magnifies your humbleness and the humility which is so integral to you and I feel it through your thoughts”…

      Many many thanks dear Nihar.. I so appreciate you..
      Blessings Sue 🙂

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      • Nihar Pradhan
        Feb 15, 2015 @ 06:07:46

        The tenacity within us matters and we keep improving as we keep facing new situations and different challenges…

        The lows and highs are integral to our existence and the extension of life depends on how e confront both and great people maintain their balance, controlling and channeling the emotions is the key to sustenance…

        No doubt that our humbleness and humility makes us grow better and grow in our stature..
        😀

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  19. kerlund74
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 07:53:06

    Great work with your fears and thoughts, you are aware of how your mind works!
    I think this is so hard when all sad and terrible news hits me, I have almost stopped reading the papers…
    But I now about the things you mention and I usually work a lot with my thoughts, future and mind. But it can be to much if all bad things sometimes. Great that we are abke to support each other and that it is possible where ever we live. That is hopeful for the future, we get closer with tge help of technology:)
    Wish you a blessed weekend<3

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 17:03:07

      The newspapers I gave up reading also long ago.. I so thank you for adding your thoughts… Yes often we think far too much,, and we allow those little fears to creep up upon us.. However I have now gone deeper into those thoughts and see why I got swamped by my emotional body.. I am ever grateful for my technological family 🙂 Thank you so much for your visit and lovely comment.. xxx

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  20. David
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 09:29:27

    Dearest Sue, what a brave and cathartic post! If anyone can and will make it through the doldrums it is you and as any sailor will tell you it is the patient waiting for that favourable wind and in your case my sweet it will be the wind of change which will take you to where you want to be and I believe you already know my friend. Love and blessings David

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 17:05:34

      Dearest David.. the Wind did change.. and the sailors cried Land Ahoy!…. Grounded once again my friend… But I needed this episode to do some final clearing of emotional baggage I had unintentionally been hanging on to.. And I hope Its layers are finally peeled away. 🙂
      Love and Blessings..
      Sue 🙂

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  21. theempathyqueen
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 13:55:46

    Sue, your post turned into something very inspiring. But, I like your honesty, the acceptance that fear is part of life (for better or worse) and being introspective to understand why our sensitivity focuses on some things and not others. Your range of emotions, and expression of them, are beautiful.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 17:12:55

      Thank you my friend… I am so pleased my post evoked some positivity from the revelations of digging into ones inner most emotions. Sometimes we have to strip away the layers we hide behind… Often they can upturn some emotions which we did not expect.. And I needed to go through this phase of doubt and questioning of myself… And the series of events obviously peeled back some of those layers we often have swept to oneside..

      Many thanks my ‘Queen’ for your kindness in leaving me your thoughts.. I appreciate them… 🙂 Blessings Sue xx

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  22. Ben Naga
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 15:25:01

    HAMMER

    Words, music, image
    All three hammer at you door
    Yet it is unlocked

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  23. Fantasyharper
    Feb 06, 2015 @ 22:14:12

    Dear Sue, I was musing your post today in my own way – of course, heavily influenced by my work and own way of dealing with things! But I thought that sharing my thoughts might be helpful.
    I was thinking that perhaps, the passing of your beloved aunt and the fall you had might have triggered old energetic triggers around the themes of ageing and endings.
    I remember, when my dad passed I briefly suffered from intense depression that turned out to be tied to a past life and not to me at all! Healing that past life and releasing those feeling was a big relief… I am going to write a blog post on that life soon, maybe it will be helpful.
    I also wondered if you have checked your energy since the fall – I know that when people have a little shock, they sometimes absorb energy from their surroundings or people around them that need to be released.
    I was dealing with some old stuff today too and was cheered up by a picture of a happy dog – I wish I could paste it in this comment but wordpress won’t let me! ☺ Consider it shared in spirit, please – and all my best wishes for your happiness and inner peace! Happy thoughts! ❤

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 17:18:08

      Dear Wendy.. I am so grateful for your comments.. And I appreciate you taking the time to write me your thoughts.. You said “I was thinking that perhaps, the passing of your beloved aunt and the fall you had might have triggered old energetic triggers around the themes of ageing and endings.”..
      You were spot on with the triggers.. And the more I allowed myself to sit within the sadness of my thoughts.. I was able to relate it back to another passing.. One which I will explain in full on my next posting..

      And I did what you suggested.. Checked my energy.. and did a few exercises to release and to pull in extra Chi.. Many thanks Wendy for your kindness and your wonderful suggestions..
      Hugs and Love Sue ❤

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  24. Lois
    Feb 07, 2015 @ 04:52:17

    Sue, my friend, I am so sorry you have been having trouble adjusting to retirement. Your experiences remind me of how I felt when I first left the workforce to stay home with my first baby. I was so used to my days being fully scheduled that I had no idea what to do with myself. I also noticed my boys in a similar situation when I took them out of school to home school them. It had been so long , in their short lives, that they were free to explore imaginative play and learn naturally that they were bored for a couple of months. There were many days and evenings when one or the other boy would come to me complaining of being bored and asking me what they should do. After those first couple of months they regained their composure and found their “groove” so to speak and stopped being bored. It may take time but you will find yours as well.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 17:21:12

      My dear dear Lois.. I am ever grateful for you comments..And I hope to try again to access your own posts very soon and hope the problems I encountered have now sorted themselves out..
      Yes I needed to visit these emotions.. and can now see why I had to go through this learning curve again.. Thank you dear Lois.. xxx

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  25. becca givens
    Feb 07, 2015 @ 05:39:14

    Oh, Sue, even in your low — you lift your reader! I am having such a hard time focusing … hard time getting out of my own way … thank you for the gentle reminder of importance! Have a blessed weekend xoxo becca

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  26. beverley
    Feb 07, 2015 @ 09:22:44

    My dreams, my wants and my desires always seem to be more than my body can handle right now and so i find myself in a waiting zone, but filling time when you have always been busy with nothing is a hard thing to do. Sit, wait, it will all come to you in time xxx

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  27. europasicewolf
    Feb 07, 2015 @ 12:40:42

    You know Sue…my mum was much like you re retirement. I think what you’re feeling on that count is very common for newly retired people. My mum retired early to become f/t carer to my dad who has Parkinson’s. They both now do voluntary work of all kinds including office work as my mum worked in the bank previously. It keeps them both busy, helps stave off the worst of their fears for the future and keeps them in contact with new people. My mum still struggles I think and she has had her own battles with depression over the years but she wins through and pushes forward. And the voluntary work does her the world of good in bridging the gap between working and retiring giving her a break and a greatersense of well being. She loves gardening too but two broken wrists after a ladder accident have restricted her more than she would like. So maybe voluntary work of some sort could be one way forward for you too 🙂 x xx

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 17:33:12

      I remember you telling me about your Mum’s ladder accident.. Ouch.. two sprained wrists were bad enough,, I am every grateful I did not have any broken bones… And I so so thank you wolfie for your kindness and suggestions.. I Am much brighter and clearer of thought.. Love to you my four legged.. 🙂

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  28. Fiestaestrella
    Feb 07, 2015 @ 16:15:30

    Hi Sue! I’m appreciating your focus and determination here 🙂 It’s very inspiring, you know~ ❤ xxKa

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  29. Christy Birmingham
    Feb 08, 2015 @ 00:08:53

    sue, I think we all get down sometimes and have fears… Glad that you were able to centered again and do your best to keep positive. Hope is a powerful tool that can only be taken from us if we let it xo Sending you healing thoughts after your fall and condolences on the passing of your aunt. Hugs

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  30. quarteracrelifestyle
    Feb 08, 2015 @ 04:51:53

    Thinking of you Sue xx

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  31. Emma Sarah Tennant
    Feb 08, 2015 @ 11:37:14

    I can relate deeply to this having faced challenges in recent years, though fear of the future doesn’t help in moving forward. I appreciate your positivity and perseverance.

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 18:44:45

      I agree Emma.. And for most of the time I am very positive and will tell people to live in our Now moments.. Something deeper was going on within my emotional body.. And often it takes a step backwards for us to take another two forward.. I am pleased I am back on track.. 🙂 xxx

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  32. kcg1974
    Feb 09, 2015 @ 23:13:07

    Hi Sue: It took me a while to get here and I want to say how sorry I am for what you have gone through. Fear in life for any reason pulls the best down, often making us strive so very hard to crawl back up. I don’t think I know anyone who hasn’t suffered at one time or another from some form of fear or depression. It seems to exist within us all, striking when we least expect it. Thankfully, you have excellent spiritual tools together with great insight to reach beyond the tangible So proud of you, Sue. With many thanks to you. Much love, Kim

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 19:02:06

      Dearest Kim.. Please do not apologise.. Yes I was knocked sideways a little with how I responded to the sadness within my being.. and had to dig deeper to finding out why my emotions were going the way they were.. I have had time to reflect and can honestly say sometimes we have to take a step backwards in order to take two forward. xxx Much love to you dear Kim.. xxx

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  33. Kourtney Heintz
    Feb 10, 2015 @ 16:21:16

    Great post Sue! When our purpose is unclear, everything gets muddied. It’s hard to move forward, it’s hard to not sink into the uncertainty. Sometimes we need a book or a person to talk us through it. Thanks for sharing your personal journey here. 🙂

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 12, 2015 @ 19:13:26

      Thank you for your support Kourtney.. I needed the time out to get to grips with my emotional body.. and see what was really beneath my sadness.. After meditating within the peace I can see more clearly.. In love and Gratitude xxx

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  34. bluebutterfliesandme
    Feb 11, 2015 @ 08:10:43

    Sue I love your honest vulnerability. I think you may have known me two years ago when I had to move from my brothers house and I didn’t know what to do? I was so freaked out and when upstairs to my room and opened my email, there was a Oprah Magazine newsletter and inside an article by Deepak Chopra that soothed the ridges of my troubled soul, the article was so perfect and shortly after he did his first 21 Day Meditation series on FB. My life changed completely as I moved to Arizona. Everyone here at Word Press was here for me and supported me on my literal journey here. These transitional times usually work out so well. Also it is most likely that all those things your fall, your aunts passing and so on contributed to a temporary depressive state. It was Mercury Retrograde as well. Anyways sweet Sue, I am happy to hear that your hand landed on some piece of inspirational literature that is to you what the Deepak article was for me.

    All my love sister~
    Namaste
    Sindy Sue

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  35. The Emu
    Feb 12, 2015 @ 09:49:53

    When we accept the uncertainty of our destiny Sue, then we can remove all fear.
    The fear you are talking about is the unknown, retirement, where do I go now, what do I do, what is my value to society.
    The bottom line Sue is that your destiny is already written, you are already on the path, you of all people Sue must see that, no matter what is occurring in your life, it was always predicted.
    Stop fearing and trying to change the present or the future.
    Sorry Sue, old Emu’s ramblings again

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  36. dr sweetyshinde
    Feb 14, 2015 @ 17:55:12

    Yes, I know how psycho-somatic it can be. The body develops aches & pains when the mind generates it.
    For me, the Bhagwad Gita is the solution for all problems. It has wisdom in every verse, every shloka.

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  37. Laurie's Gentle Healing Notes
    Feb 18, 2015 @ 18:46:48

    Sue,
    Your presence has been so comforting to me..in your short heart-felt comments. I feel this pain too about being in the world as it is. I have much hope..and I also have parts that are deeply sad and overwhelmed. What I have come to lately is the natural flow that happens when we awaken and trust what we find in our deepest hearts..letting go of all that is not us. I find the next step comes out of this place..and I have learned to let go a little more of needing to figure out in my mind. When I was sick, I knew I couldn’t figure it out in my mind. I do feel like it is similar in the outer world..that somehow we connect with a higher place..
    I still have the same kinds of experiences that I would have called depressive thoughts or triggers..but I view them differently now. ♡ I am so glad you are here. Very much love. I share with my heart..that maybe something resonates.
    ♡♡ Laurie

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 20, 2015 @ 16:39:25

      I so know what you are saying Laurie, and normally I would be telling myself the exact same thing.. Something acted as a trigger within me, and while I am travelling my road through my emotions, I know I needed the journey to let go of that which I no longer needed to carry.. But the after effects are still like the last vapours in need of clearing.. Of which I am now blowing away.. And your encouragement and support are greatly appreciated.. Many thanks my friend.. Sue xxx ❤

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  38. Laurie's Gentle Healing Notes
    Feb 18, 2015 @ 18:53:10

    I think what happens is I end up not having to try so hard with my thoughts.. it happens a little more naturally. It is kind of like how I don’t focus on breathing to calm myself down..I focus on my pure self..and it happens naturally. ♡

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 20, 2015 @ 16:33:18

      Laurie thank you, yes normally I know to breath and let go as I allow things to wash over me.. But on this occasion I needed to go through my own learning curve yet again in order to let something I had been holding onto go.. 🙂 …

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      • Laurie's Gentle Healing Notes
        Feb 20, 2015 @ 19:18:21

        Yes. I also feel things deeply.. It just feels different than before.. when I used to get “stuck.” I think that is what I meant.. even when I am triggered and walking through.. It feels different. I think I meant to say that I don’t try to manage my thoughts or breathing or anything anymore..or triggers or anything.. I guess I just love the little parts of me. Now I just be with whatever shows up in the moment.. feel a little more deeply into it.

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  39. lscotthoughts
    Feb 21, 2015 @ 03:27:27

    I guess my drum is beating slowly, Sue, because I’m over two weeks late in replying here. 🙂 Well, I was happy to read a positive ending to this but I really don’t anticipate anything opposite coming from you. You exude positivity, light, love and optimism.
    I used to read Chicken Soup for the Soul books all the time in my 30’s. Then they faded out of my library; romance took over, I think. Anyway, they seemed to always help to put things in perspective and maybe there is a current book that might apply to our trials these days.
    I understand a little how you feel with needing to fill the time now that you’re retired. But I’m also on the opposite end of the spectrum. I can’t wait to be able to retire and hubby feels the same way. We also feel bad thinking that way because we are thankful for our jobs, income, medical/dental insurance and so on. But we do long for the day when we don’t have to report to work and can do whatever we please. This is why weekends, holidays and vacations are super nice!
    Anyway, I will choose #2 for FEAR and I have every bit of faith that you will create the best future for YOU and that’s what matters the most. Sending much love to you for a glorious weekend! Hugs, too! ♥

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    • Sue Dreamwalker
      Feb 21, 2015 @ 14:53:12

      Thank you Lauren… Yes I too couldn’t wait to retire.. And its fine when you have lots to fill your day with., I guess I miss the contact with people, and just need to learn to appreciate doing nothing somedays.. which as you will appreciate can be hard to to if you have always been running on full steam.. 🙂 … But as the weather warms up and the long cold winter days lengthen then I am certain when planting season starts in the garden, I will be only too happy for those moments to do nothing.. LOL we are never satisfied are we xxx Many thanks for you catch up.. Loved having you visit.. Love Sue xox

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      • lscotthoughts
        Feb 21, 2015 @ 15:28:28

        Well I’m sure this long and hard winter is a big factor, Sue. Our winter in the bay area has been unusually warm and dry. We’ve had some rain but we need more, especially in central and southern Cal. My hubby feels too cooped up in the house when it rains for days so I feel your pain. 🙂 Are you still painting or is that more of an outdoor hobby? I’ll pray springtime arrives earlier for you so you can be out in your garden creating magic. 🙂 Sending hugs! ♥

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        • Sue Dreamwalker
          Feb 21, 2015 @ 15:35:14

          I am knitting another item for myself at the moment.. Painting I do both in and outdoor. The tin milk churns and pots you saw I painted, I paint the bulk backgrounds outside, but the details on them indoors, I then take them outdoors again as I cover them in two coats of clear varnish to help water proof them..
          I am painting and decorating with hubby at the moment.. a project on going with a spare bedroom, we hope to have finished next week.. We have just done bits when we have felt like it.. .. We have Sun at the moment.. but forecast some more snow over the next few days..
          Sending you and yours lots of love xxx Hugs Sue

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Sue Dreamwalker

Sue Dreamwalker

Each of us, carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives, and their reactions in turn affect others As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain. Your thoughts and actions are like stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward.. I hope that I can send a few ripples out via the web of life, as we each of us weave the threads together... Welcome to my Sanctuary of Peace and Love... May we each spread our Lights around our World....Sue Dreamwalker

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